We have all been there; the late night text messages followed by a request to Netflix and Chill. But what does that even mean? And does my agreeing to that entitle you to my body? Let's tackle one question at a time. What does Netflix and Chill actually mean? From a connotative stand point it could have many meanings. For you it may mean cuddling and watching Netflix, but for your partner Netflix might not even be a definite part of the plan if you catch my drift. According to Urban Dictionary, and I'll keep this as clean as possible, Netflix and Chill consists of "watching a program on Netflix...and often to have sexual intercourse during or after the program." This is tricky because it leaves a ton of grey areas in terms of consent. There is a misconception that agreeing to Netflix and Chill is equivalent to giving consent. This is false! Remember that yes means yes and no still means no. Also, consider the fact that consent must be continuous. Therefore, if you agree to Netflix and Chill, you still have the ability to object to any unwanted physical contact that may occur after the agreement.
The issue with all of these Netflix and Chill myths can be traced back to the education system. Less than often, consent is not being discussed, whether it's in the class room or at home. We have taught, for many years, don't get sexually assaulted and never put yourself in that situation. The message should be don't assault and check for consent. Consent is complex in nature, so it is not surprising that many of my peers couldn't give me a straightforward definition. However, it is equally saddening that they couldn't give me a definition based solely on lack of information. As with any type of relationship, communication is key. It's OK to talk about boundaries and consent with your partner. It doesn't take the spark out of spontaneity, it just creates a safety net for your significant other. Sexual assault happens more frequently between partners in a committed relationship, because the don't fully understand consent and haven't had a conversation about it. Don't be misled by images on social media platforms. Even if you have agreed to Netflix and Chill, you still have a voice. You can still say no.
Has this ever happened to you? Want to do something about it? Just want to talk to someone about it? Go visit your school/university counseling services. Another option, if you don't feel comfortable talking to a school/university counselor, is to call the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673). They are available 24/7 and even have an online chatting feature. You're not alone. Help is only a phone call away.
