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// At Baylor University

A Letter To the "Netflix and Chill" Generation

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Unless you live under a rock, then you have seen many funny tweets, vines, and viral memes about the term "Netflix and chill." If you don't understand exactly what this concept is, then I can quickly explain it for you.

"Netflix and Chill"-- action verb-- is the term a guy uses to cover up the fact that he wants a girl he finds attractive to come over, hook up with him, and then leave. Netflix may be played as background noise and a conversation starter, but all he wants her for is a hook up.

Yes, this term is funny, but what makes this term funny is how true it is for our generation. To me, this term is sad. Somehow, we have ditched the first dates over a cup of coffee, where you get to know each other a little more. Guys are not holding the doors for girls, rather, they're just texting them "Come in, my door is open." No dinner date is required, that is "too old school." Who even needs to meet the father of the girl and shake his hand before asking her out? We can even make it simpler, use an app, swipe when we see someone attractive, and "Netflix and chill" in less than ten minutes. Suddenly, the question isn't even "should we kiss on the first date," it is "should we have sex in his bedroom when he texts me to come over?"

Maybe that makes you happy. Maybe you enjoy feeling wanted and attractive and the temporary pleasure. But the truth is if you live the lifestyle of "Netflix and chill," I promise that one day, you are going to wake up, realize there is no one by your side for forever, and come to a conclusion that something is missing. You will go out to eat and see the guy who is holding the door open for his girl, picking up her check, and treating her like the woman she is. He is pursuing her in an authentic and real way. And I promise, as much as you like the temporary happiness you get from the guy who texts you and wants to "chill" or the girl who willingly comes over in ten minutes, you won't have joy in your life. You won't experience real love. You will be left lonely, confused, hurt, insecure, and unaware of your true worth.

You won't be able to see your true worth, not because no one treated you properly, but because you never treated yourself properly.

To the girls who fall time after time to the 2 a.m. text "Netflix and chill:" you are more beautiful than that. Stop thinking that a good guy is out of your league. You are worth being pursued, dated, and loved, not used and thrown out. Think about what you want for your daughter. Think of the man you want to be in her life. Don't be afraid to wait for a good guy. Yes, it requires patience, but that's what you deserve, and there are good guys still out there. Maybe if you loved yourself in an authentic way, then a guy would love you intentionally.

To the boys sending the "Netflix and chill" texts: Enjoy your temporary happiness, because right now, the road you are on isn't one filled with real joy. Think about when you have a daughter and a guy is trying to use her. Do you want your daughter to hook up with a guy like you? Every woman deserves respect and to be treated like a person. Have enough respect for yourself to know you are worth more than being the douche. Be a man and act like one instead of hiding behind one meaningless text and a one night stand.

I truly believe our generation has the power to change the world we live in. We are eager and compassionate people, but if we don't love ourselves and respect ourselves first, how will we ever love and respect others? Rise up, my peers, and ask yourself--what am I worth? Are you worth a "Netflix and chill" Friday night? Newsflash--if you haven't caught on to what I am trying to say--you are worth more.

At the end of the day, the only one who can truly satisfy the human heart is the one who created it. The one who created your heart can give you more love and joy than the boy who asks you to "Netflix and chill" and the girl who gives you what you "want" without you even knowing her last name.

I'm addicted to sushi, throwback tunes, diet coke and God's grace. I love hearing stories, writing my feelings, and reminding women that our worth is worth more than what any boy thinks or what the scale says. (CAN I GET AN AMEN) Check out my website for more life stories and girl-to-girl advice www.gracevalentine.org.

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