*Disclaimer: For privacy reasons, I will not be using the nursing home’s full name*

MP Rehabilitation and Healthcare Center claims it is focused on providing the best nursing care for its residents. MP declares its dedication to helping residents regain their independence before being released. But, most of all, MP promises to send its residents home as soon as possible.

I have never seen or heard such a blatantly false promise. I have never been so angered and disgusted, either. Upon my most recent trip to MP to visit my mom’s uncle, Bruce, I was truly shaken to the core; I have never encountered an individual as rude, cold and utterly disgusting as the woman who ambushed us upon our arrival (the admissions director). Because of this horrid experience at the nursing home, I wanted to take the time to explain the events that took place, events that opened my eyes to the cruel, indifferent industry of some institutionalized care facilities (whether they’re mental hospitals, regular hospitals or, in this case, nursing homes).

When we arrived at MP we split up — my grandma and I ran over to the Burger King across the street (Bruce is always in the mood for a large ice-cold soda and fries) and my mom went inside to bring him downstairs for our visit. When my grandma and I walked through the front doors, we found my mom and Bruce sitting in the lobby talking with a woman, whom we will call Susan. I immediately knew something wasn’t right and I thought, “Oh god, here we go."

When Susan saw us walk in, she ushered all four of us (Bruce included) into MP’s tiny admissions office. It felt very much like an ambush. She demanded to know about Bruce’s financial situation, his bank statements, his income, his social security income — all things that my grandma and mom have no access to or knowledge about. We explained to her multiple times that we are Bruce’s friends; he practically raised my mom after her dad died, and he was there the day I was born (this is why he’s mom’s “uncle”) but we are not blood related. That means we have no access to any of his bank records or statements or any other personal information. We told Susan that we had been speaking to Bruce’s nephew, Harry (the only blood relative Bruce speaks to), asking him to come visit Bruce on his way home, but Harry continuously refused to stop by or even speak to Bruce on the phone; he would tell us to call him when we were with Bruce so he could speak to him and when we did, he wouldn’t answer our calls.

When we told Susan about our conversations with Harry, she asked us for his phone number, and immediately called him herself. Of course, he answered the phone and, of course, he lied and said we knew all the information about Bruce’s finances. Susan, right in front of us, told Harry, “Either no one knows about the bank statements or these ladies are very good actresses and liars." I never wanted to scream at someone so badly. My mom and I looked at each other, baffled and speechless. Susan then continued to tell Harry that we had been “evading her” and that we were “putting up roadblocks” to make her job difficult. We had only seen this woman twice! Twice in three weeks and there she was telling Harry that she had been chasing after us for months. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we know who the real liars in this situation are.

Before we walked out of her office (she had rudely answered a phone call unrelated to our meeting so we left) my mom had gotten out of her seat and gone for a walk, which, in my mom’s language means she had to go calm the hell down. Now, this entire time I had been standing holding the greasy Burger King bag so I placed it on the now empty seat. A few minutes later Susan looked up at me and said, “Take those greasy bags off the seat. I don’t want them to get dirty." I stared at her for a good 30 seconds before complying. Looking back at that moment, I wish I had had the guts to retort, “Once you start to give a damn about your residents, I’ll give a damn about your chair”.

I bring up what I’ve seen as the “care” of the residents because I need everyone reading this to understand the conditions they live in at MP. We have been informed by Bruce (who is still competent) that he has fallen at least six times. OK, things like that happen, it’s understandable right? Just wait, there’s more. Bruce has fallen at least six times and has been left on the floor yelling for help because no one came to check on him. He doesn’t even have one those “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” buttons that are advertised on those corny commercials. Most of the MP staff are neglectful to their residents, either leaving them on the floor for an hour before doing their rounds, or leaving them in their underwear because they’ve run out of clean clothes. I’m not lying; Bruce, along with other residents that I have seen, are forced to live in their underwear or diapers if they run out of clean laundry. Understand, sometimes it’s hard for a family to immediately bring clean laundry back to their loved one. My grandma, for example, doesn’t live close by and getting to MP is a trip for her; she’s 87 years old, and she can’t make it there every single day. So if she can’t bring Bruce clean clothes one day, the staff at MP will take off his dirty clothes, put them in his closet, and practically leave him naked. I find it interesting that they can’t seem to find a spare sweatshirt or gown for their residents to wear. It disgusts me.

The neglect doesn’t stop there. MP has a horrible smell to it. It’s pervasive and cloying, sickening. Now, I know some nursing homes can have a strange hospital or sterile scent to them, but that is not what I am talking about. No, it smells like human waste. Besides being off-putting, the smell made me realize that the residents who have to wear diapers aren’t being changed that often. It pains me to imagine how degrading and uncomfortable that feels, as well as how unhygienic it is. They say that you get used to the stench when visiting a monkey’s exhibit in the zoo; there is no escaping it here at MP.

Susan and the horrible conditions of MP have opened my eyes. No one, especially elderly individuals, deserves to be treated so inhumanely. These individuals are nearing the end of their lives, and they should be treated with respect and kindness. Instead, they are living in an institution that doesn’t seem to care for them. For Bruce, it’s like a prison — he is no longer allowed to go sit outside in his wheelchair (for no medical reason, they simply won’t let him outside), and they aren’t allowing him to leave — evidently until they get paid. My mom has been trying everything to have him moved back home, looking into home attendant care, the things necessary for his care and well being at home, and asking MP, specifically Susan, for help on how to start the process. Susan keeps telling her, “He can’t leave." It’s ridiculous and infuriating knowing that they have no legal right to keep him there.

I think my overall point here is that the treatment of our elders in some nursing homes is unacceptable. I know that not all nursing homes and their staff are like MP, but I also know there are many that are. It saddens me deeply. Cold, hateful and cruel individuals like Susan should not be involved in the care for others simply because they don’t careabout another person’s well being. Let’s turn the tables on Susan and some of the staff. I wonder how they would feel if they were a resident.

As a parting note for Susan, I think I would just like to tell her that she can take that fugly chair of hers and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.