Many people think they can tell if someone's gay by the way they dress, act, or look. They think they can tell if they're gay by getting that "vibe" from them, but the truth of the matter is, that not everyone is the same. I'll admit that I've been guilty of that in the past - suggesting that I got that "vibe." But just as no one who identifies as "straight" is the same, there's no possible way for all LGBTQIAs to be the same, which means that this "vibe" doesn't exist. You can't get a "vibe" from a person and say "I knew they were straight this whole time!" Like, that's just stupid.
I've come to realize that masculinity or femininity does not define your sexual orientation. Just because you have short hair does not mean you're lesbian, in the same way, having long hair does not rule out the possibility that you could be lesbian. A lesbian will remain lesbian with or without long hair, so rule that thought out of your head. Every individual has a right to express his or her sexuality in their own way, and each person's sexuality is their own.
Recently, star Jack Falahee, a popular "How To Get Away With Murder" cast member was asked the question, "How do you define your sexuality?" He made a statement explaining that he doesn't think it "accomplishes anything other than quenching the thirst of curiosity" to answer this question. Although he is part of the LGBTQIA community in real life, his statement that followed couldn't have been any more true. "No matter how I answer, someone will say, 'No, that's not true. People would much rather like to hear the answer they want to hear rather than the answer you have to give. And this is why stereotypes are so hurtful. You can reemphasize your sexuality to another individual and you will still get opposition.
I believe that identifying as gay doesn't make you any less of a man. Just because you're gay does not mean that you necessarily have to dress feminine. Just because you're gay doesn't mean that you have to be clingy or all about feelings. Not all gay men are the same, in the same way that not all straight men are the same, or lesbian women, or bicurious individuals. You can chose to be who you want to be in your own skin, identifying as your own sexual preference, because that's what's comfortable for you!"
One of the misconceptions I've come across is that lesbians hate men. There's no way that could possibly be true. Lesbians don't hate men, they just don't wish to sleep with them or date them. Quit saying that lesbians just haven't found the right guy yet, because that's not true. The reality is that a lesbian woman is still a woman. She identifies herself as a woman, she knows that she wants to be with another woman, regardless of how such woman chooses to dress or act, etc.There doesn't have to be a "man role" and a "woman role" for there to be a relationship. Both women can identify as women.
In a gay relationship, both men can identify as men. I find it incredibly rude of a man to not accept a lesbian relationship. For example, if you were out with your girlfriend and a man came up to you and tried to pursue you and you insisted that you were with your girlfriend, he would most likely keep insisting. However, if you mentioned that you had a boyfriend, he would leave you alone. A lesbian relationship is just as valid as any other form of relationship (and this shows that men respect other men more than they respect the individual woman, but that's another story).
A relationship in general should not change based on who the partners are. There's still the same amount of effort that needs to come from both people to make that relationship work. Gay relationships are not going to be easier just because they're gay relationships. Another thing I'd like to add is - if a person states that they are gay, lesbian, pan-sexual, fluid, bisexual, etc., believe it. Why would anyone just make up their sexual orientation? If a girl tells you she's lesbian, don't say something like "you're too pretty to be lesbian" or "I bet I can turn you straight."
On the flip side of that, gay people do not try to convert other straight individuals into being gay. You don't have to freak out and think that your lesbian friend is going to try to seduce you and everyone else in the neighborhood with her U-haul, that's just not going to happen.
Stereotypes like these need to be broken in order to see who a person truly is. A gay person isn't "David, that gay guy", he's David, who just so happens to be gay. If we change our perspectives in this way and see people beyond labels, we'll have a better time connecting with each other.
The next time you come across an LGBT, don't single them out based on what you've heard, or what you think you know. Actually get to know them, rather than pretend that they're a certain way because they belong to a certain "group." In doing this, we can get rid of the bad stigma that comes with being a part of a community such as this one. NO H8!
