I'm restless. You're restless. I'm tired. You're tired. I'm disappointed. You're disappointed. I'm anxious. You're anxious. I'm stressed. You're stressed. I'm worried. You're worried. I'm nervous. You're nervous. I'm sad. You're sad. I'm curious. You're curious. I'm scared. You're scared. I'm unsure. You're unsure. These feelings aren't just based on current events. They come from our personal experiences, interactions daily, and mood of the moment. It's common. It's normal. It happens.
The world is spinning as it has for billions of years, yet some days it can feel like it is out of control, moving too fast, or moving too slow.
Entering the working world and leaving school behind, I had to be reminded (often) that I am where I need to be right now. Some days I would be proud of where I am and accepting of what I am doing. Other days, I would feel inadequate, like I should be further along on some life path, achieving impressive goals. It takes away from being present and being able to focus on one thing at a time, one step at a time.
Today, I see that I am where I need to be right now, but I wish I were standing among more people ready to grow, ready to act, ready to move forward, and ready to give to others. Sometimes I feel stuck when I tell myself I am where I need to be, but I know that is my perception, when in reality if I am where I need to be and I am challenging myself to be better, I can get to a place where I am where I need to be and I am okay with it, maybe even happy and less restless, tired, disappointed, anxious, stressed, worried, nervous, sad, scared, and unsure.
I am where I need to be because right now, I've got nowhere else to go, and I am doing what I can and what I should. The only thing I can change is my attitude towards the world so the easiest thing is to accept where I am and keep doing what I am doing, striving to get better, more involved, and wiser.
I wish instead of speeches on television and event schedules to shake hands and break bread with donors, politicians empowered every single one of us to be active members, participants, and leaders in our communities. Give us the tools, not just ask for the votes. We want in. Frankly, I don't know where to start.
I am not in shock that this is where we are. If I am where I need to be, is everyone? I'll let you in on a secret: I picked sociology as my major in college because I thought if I was going to change the world, it would be through people. If I was going to mitigate climate change and global warming, it would be through working with people.
Why? Because I thought if people learned to care about themselves and each other, they would also care about the earth. Suffice to say, in all my learning, I realized that it will take far more systematic changes to move the tide.
A plant doesn't tell itself to grow, it does so through getting what it needs.
I am where I need to be, but is it enough? It has to be. For now.
