I have always really sucked at being away from people I care about. When I was a little girl and my mom had to be away in the evenings to take classes, I carried on as if I had been abandoned on a doorstep. When my sisters went off to college, I grieved. When I left my first boyfriend for a college that was only an hour away, I visited every weekend.
If someone would have told my younger self that I would be in a happy and fulfilling long distance relationship, I would have laughed hysterically.
About a year and a half ago, my tall, tatted up guy ambled casually into my messy life and my idea of “impossible” started to waver. He did not make me feel stupid for being myself, he did not sweat the petty stuff, and we went on adventures together!
When I went home for the summer we talked every day and could not imagine going more than two weeks without seeing each other in person. Living in the dorms together was the best, even when we were sick or stressed out.
Then, on November 9th, the day so many of us were already walking around shell-shocked, another bombshell came. School was getting too expensive, so he was going to have to move away to Maryland. In that moment, I felt our quintessential Atlanta romance turn upside down.
For the first few days I could not stop crying. I left my adorable, supportive boyfriend at the airport amidst Christmas carols so sappy it was like the universe was conspiring to make me sob myself to dehydration. It took days for our predicament to seem real.
I felt this constant feeling of being alone, but not really. I had been single, been in a relationship, and been through a breakup, but none of those things felt like this. I quickly learned that just because my cute and cuddly man was no longer within cuddling distance did not mean that I was abandoned.
We learned to video chat whenever possible, to kiss good night through our phones no matter how ridiculous it looked. We pick TV shows to watch together and tell each other everything. We get to visit each other a lot, and he has braved way too many long bus rides for me.
I know now that human beings have an incredible ability to adapt and commit. Through this part of my life I have been able to learn about myself independently while an amazing person still has my back states away.
I learned to brush off ignorant comments about my relationship, and to trust my own judgement over that of people who do not know us well.
If you are reading this and heading towards a long-distance relationship yourself, remember that you are always tougher than you think. My personal mantra about this is “it’s work, but it’s worth it.”
For most people, a long distance relationship, particularly an unexpected one, is a temporary wilderness to wander through. In my case, I know the distance will not last forever. My boyfriend likes to call it a prelude.
Love does not stretch thin when you multiply it, so why would it change coming from hundreds of miles away?
