“Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again”
-The Sound of Silence
Dear Readers,
The dog won’t stop barking at 5 in the morning. Your coffee spilled on your lap. You failed that important midterm. Your mom died. You lost your job. You don’t feel like yourself anymore. Now that you can label the day, the week, the month, or even the year as your worst one yet, you find solace in the darkness because it’s easier than the brightness of the light. Go wrap yourself in a blanket and fall into your bed. Jump in your car and drive down the road with the music blasting. Sit by a familiar lake or pond and lose your thoughts in the stillness of the water. You’ve entered into the darkness of a depression.
I never understood the severity, or even the reality of depression, until a friend of mine was recently diagnosed with it. You start to see it in their eyes — the lifeless apathy towards happiness — the yearning for an escape — the call for help that they’re too scared to make. You see the tears in their eyes and the marks on their arms they hide with long sleeved shirts in the sweltering heat of the summer as symbols of a silent battle you’re afraid they’ll never win.
As children, we feared the darkness. As adults, we fear the temptation of the darkness. In the hours of that horrible day we had it feels right to settle down in our sadness and let it swallow us whole. But the darkness can solve no problems — the only thing the darkness has to offer is loneliness and emptiness. Friendship, love, hope, and laugher are all the things that perpetuate a guiding light back into our lives. Hold onto it.
There’s no shame in sadness or depression, they are integral elements to a varied emotional capacity. However, there is an extreme danger in living in the darkness, for life cannot grow without the warmth of the sun. Find the courage to step out from your shadow and look up towards the light — it may be blinding and bright, but its illumination will reveal that hidden path back to happiness.
At some point in our lives each one of us will face the darkness. You’re going to have that bad day — that tragic moment — that slow defeat that casts you off and separates you from everyone else. You’ll look at smiles and think to yourself: “I don’t know if I’ll ever be that happy anymore.” You’ll find yourself crying more than laughing. You’ll cut off everyone you love because you know that they can see right through your forced smile.
But before you let that total eclipse into black take over your soul, remember the people that love you. Despite all the doubts and troubled thoughts rattling inside your brain, never forget that you are an important part of someone’s life — without you, it would not be whole. Cast aside the negative thoughts — they exist only to try and defeat the optimism battling its way to the foreground of your mind.
You’re alive, and that means something. Do not waste the precious hours of your life sulking in pity and sorrow, because you’ll look back and wish you had those defining moments to do over again.
The dog might always bark at 5 am. Your coffee will spill every now and then. Loss and tragedy are inevitable. But that doesn’t mean we let ourselves fall into the dark. Accept the fact that perhaps in order to appreciate the best of days, we need to conquer our worst. So relax. Take a deep breath. Today wasn’t your best day, but tomorrow will be better.
I promise.
