Listening is an important aspect of friendships and communication. As defined, listening means that you give attention to something and attentively take note. It leads to the understanding of how another person is feeling. If you have not seen this video before, I strongly recommend watching it. It is called “It’s Not About the Nail” and adds a comic relief to a deep and true meaning. The video has to deal a lot about relationships. Have you ever been in a situation where you are really stressed out about something and know that no one else can fix the problem? You think by telling someone else it will help relieve some of your stress. When we tell someone about something that has been on our mind or bothering us lately, it is not to get a reaction or response from them. Individuals do not have the goal of constantly complaining about problems to try to make everyone else fix them. Instead, it is a way to let go of some things on their mind. In a majority of cases the person sharing their problems would prefer for the listener to respond with statements such as, “I am here for you”, “I understand how that would be hard”, or another phrase along these lines.
In the video, the girl is looking to be understood. She makes the statement, “You always do this. You always try to fix things when I really need for you to just listen.” They guy expresses the sense that he can see the obvious problem and has a solution. The woman does not find his suggestion to be the problem in the first place. This creates a barrier between the two. She feels he is not listening to the deeper meaning of her problems. A method to use when trying to understand is to look at it, as if you were in the other person’s shoes, from another point of view. Once you can understand why someone may be struggling with a certain area of life, you can offer support. We will not always be able to relate with everyone else’s problems, but we need to realize we all have them. Sending them inspirational messages may brighten their day. It is helpful to check in on them as well, to show you really care by seeing how the situation has progressed in the past day, week, or month. To get to any of these points, we must first listen.
You know that feeling you get when you are the reason for someone’s smile? Maybe you helped them in the smallest way, but it meant the world to them. No matter the case, to help a friend move forward and relieve stress, you can always volunteer to lend an ear. It reminds me of a quote I once read, “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply”. Let us be the people who change that communication problem. Let us no longer hope they talk fast so we reply and push the problem aside. We can decide to take the time to understand. The next time when you are in a conversation with someone and they are sharing their feelings with you, remember that they just want you to listen. They do not want for you to come up with a solution, but to stand by their side. Remember “It’s Not About the Nail”.
