I Worked On Myself In The Summer And Changed For The Better
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Dating

I Spent The Summer Working On Myself And It Has Changed Me For The Better

I put myself first for once and I have never felt more emotionally or mentally secure.

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I Spent The Summer Working On Myself And It Has Changed Me For The Better
Nini Tran

Summer is usually the time to where you make the best memories and hang out with all of your friends because everyone is home for the summer. I usually make a million plans with everyone and I would never be at home (parents got so annoyed with it) but I knew that I wanted to see all of my friends but honestly, I just loved being able to socialize with everyone and how everyone liked having me around. This summer I thought it would be one of the best ever; that all changed whenever I decided that I not wanted to work on myself but needed to.

For years I thought that I was okay and that I did not need to change anything about me because I was happy with how my life was going. I sat down in my room one night and even though I was happy with some aspects of my life; I knew that I wasn't completely happy. Part of me wanted so much to be in a relationship and the other part of me was okay with being single. Part of me was happy that I had so many friends but then another part of me wondered if they were my actual friends or my friends because I was willing to do EVERYTHING and literally ANYTHING for them at any given moment.

So for the first two months of summer, I was not just a social media fast but also I cut myself out from the word and did not talk to anyone (unless it was work related). Everyone who was friends with me either knew I did not have my phone or they just did not get in touch with me. But, the people who knew I did not have my phone knew that they would be able to get in touch with me in other ways; this is when I realized that the term "If they really wanted to talk to you then they will find a way." was beyond true. Out of all of the friends, I thought I had and I thought were close to me only a handful reached out to make sure I was okay but only two of my friends reached out consistently to make sure I was okay and wanted to check up on me.

After the first two months of summer, I started posting on social media more often and that showed all of my old friends that I was back and active on Snapchat and Instagram. After a lot of my friends saw that I was active again on social media I had a few more friends ask me where I've been and some comment on how it's been a minute since they've seen me. Other than that; all of the friends I thought were my friends did not reach out to me at all.

Now, when I focused on myself I struggled really hard with this certain "cleanse" is what I guess you can call it. I am a hopeless romantic. I love the idea of love and I love being able to show the person that I am with how much I care for them. I had an entire plan of when I wanted to get engaged when I wanted to get married, and when I would want to have kids. I love everything about being in love. I loved the idea so much that I thought that being in a relationship would make me happy and I honestly tried so hard to find a relationship that when the guy I thought I really wanted a relationship did not feel the same way I acted cool but inside I was so upset and thought to myself all of the time "Why am I not good enough?"

When I focused more on myself and this part of me that wanted a relationship so much I learned that I was good enough to be in a relationship. I was WORTHY of being loved. Just because the guy that I liked did not feel the same way or did not want the same thing as me does not make me any less worthy. I learned that whenever the right guy comes along everything will be worth it. Whenever the time is right I won't necessarily feel "complete" but I will feel like he complements and brings out the best in me.

This summer may have not been "the best summer ever" but it was a summer that has changed me for the better.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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