I Spent The Summer Working On Myself And It Has Changed Me For The Better

I Spent The Summer Working On Myself And It Has Changed Me For The Better

I put myself first for once and I have never felt more emotionally or mentally secure.


Summer is usually the time to where you make the best memories and hang out with all of your friends because everyone is home for the summer. I usually make a million plans with everyone and I would never be at home (parents got so annoyed with it) but I knew that I wanted to see all of my friends but honestly, I just loved being able to socialize with everyone and how everyone liked having me around. This summer I thought it would be one of the best ever; that all changed whenever I decided that I not wanted to work on myself but needed to.

For years I thought that I was okay and that I did not need to change anything about me because I was happy with how my life was going. I sat down in my room one night and even though I was happy with some aspects of my life; I knew that I wasn't completely happy. Part of me wanted so much to be in a relationship and the other part of me was okay with being single. Part of me was happy that I had so many friends but then another part of me wondered if they were my actual friends or my friends because I was willing to do EVERYTHING and literally ANYTHING for them at any given moment.

So for the first two months of summer, I was not just a social media fast but also I cut myself out from the word and did not talk to anyone (unless it was work related). Everyone who was friends with me either knew I did not have my phone or they just did not get in touch with me. But, the people who knew I did not have my phone knew that they would be able to get in touch with me in other ways; this is when I realized that the term "If they really wanted to talk to you then they will find a way." was beyond true. Out of all of the friends, I thought I had and I thought were close to me only a handful reached out to make sure I was okay but only two of my friends reached out consistently to make sure I was okay and wanted to check up on me.

After the first two months of summer, I started posting on social media more often and that showed all of my old friends that I was back and active on Snapchat and Instagram. After a lot of my friends saw that I was active again on social media I had a few more friends ask me where I've been and some comment on how it's been a minute since they've seen me. Other than that; all of the friends I thought were my friends did not reach out to me at all.

Now, when I focused on myself I struggled really hard with this certain "cleanse" is what I guess you can call it. I am a hopeless romantic. I love the idea of love and I love being able to show the person that I am with how much I care for them. I had an entire plan of when I wanted to get engaged when I wanted to get married, and when I would want to have kids. I love everything about being in love. I loved the idea so much that I thought that being in a relationship would make me happy and I honestly tried so hard to find a relationship that when the guy I thought I really wanted a relationship did not feel the same way I acted cool but inside I was so upset and thought to myself all of the time "Why am I not good enough?"

When I focused more on myself and this part of me that wanted a relationship so much I learned that I was good enough to be in a relationship. I was WORTHY of being loved. Just because the guy that I liked did not feel the same way or did not want the same thing as me does not make me any less worthy. I learned that whenever the right guy comes along everything will be worth it. Whenever the time is right I won't necessarily feel "complete" but I will feel like he complements and brings out the best in me.

This summer may have not been "the best summer ever" but it was a summer that has changed me for the better.

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.


Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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15 Winter Dates For Couples Who'd Rather Snuggle Indoors Than Step Foot Outside

Do I wanna build a snowman? Uhhhh NO!


Christmas time in New England can get pretty damn cold. I mean, we do have a few warm days, but for the most part, it's cold, windy, and sometimes snowy out. Now, if you're anything like me and you don't like the cold, typical Christmas dates might not be for you, but luckily there's plenty of cute dates that don't involve venturing out in the freezing abyss.

So get your hot chocolate, eggnog, ugly sweaters and festive pajamas ready because here are 15 fun winter dates that don't involve you and your partner leaving the house at all.

1. Ginger bread house competition

2. Classic Christmas movie marathon

3. Hallmark movie marathon

Only because my boyfriend's mom LOVES them.

4. Okay so really just any Christmas movie marathon.


5. Making Christmas ornaments

6. Paper snowflake making competition

7. Baking and decorating (and eating!) Christmas cookies

8. Dance around to Christmas music

9. Make each other a new stocking

10. Write a letter to Santa

Super silly but super cute.

11. Take cute Christmas pictures


Perfect time for those ugly Christmas sweaters or Christmas pajamas.

12. Decorate the Christmas tree

And you know the rest of the inside of the house.

13. Wrap presents together

14. Hang a mistletoe and kiss under it

15. Stay up tracking Santa

Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for him, and carrots out for the reindeer.

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