These are the times in my life that I need a why, a reason, a motivation behind what I am doing right in this very moment. Currently, I am struggling with many things such as not getting the proper amount of sleep, juggling my finances, spending time with those I love, trying to mend broken relationships with family members, going to work, and all the while trying to enjoy my first semester of college. I have had many thoughts in the last couple of weeks that go something along the lines of "Is this really worth it?" "Why do so many people say college is the best time of their life? Even if they weren't drinking and partying all the time." I have contemplated dropping out and finding a job in line with my passion, ministry, but I know that is not the wisest of choices. I do not know this because of experience, I am still in college and have a while left, I know this because of what struck my passion for ministry in the first place and why I wake up in the morning wanting to be a better woman of God.

These girls.

To some, they may look like some punky middle school girls who may or may not be obsessed with boys, talk all the time about who knows what, and annoying. To me, though, these girls do not even come close to that derogatory description. I have been blessed with the opportunity to lead these seventh-grade girls small group alongside a few other anointed leaders, and we see them as cherished, loved, pursued, driven, passionate, caring, princesses and daughters of the one true King the Almighty God. I want these girls to do things for the Kingdom of God that I could never do, and I want to walk with them through it and be an example to them the best way I know how. If going to school to learn how to lead them better and communicate with their families will do that, then by gosh by golly that is what I am going to do.

I want my ceiling to be their floor. What I mean by that is, I want them to be a greater impact, do greater things, love like no other, and reach more people than I ever could. I cannot do it all, but if I limit my ceiling right now, then I am limiting their floor, their starting place. I cannot bear the thought of limiting these girls and their potential because, whether they see it or not the things they will accomplish in the present and future are extraordinary! I want to give all I can to the Lord and them, and if that means struggling for a little while, then I am okay with that. My pastor said recently that "there is no wasted pain" and I fully believe that here and now.

I pray that through the pain I model Christ to them in the most obvious of ways. I pray that these girls would not want to look more like me than more like Christ. I pray that these girls would believe the things that I see in them. I pray these girls would know their worth and spread that to others in any way the Lord calls them to.

Ladies,

I love you guys, more than you will ever know!