I was once told that faith is the only true essential to believing in God. Without science, you can still believe in something greater. Without logic, you can still use imagination to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality. Without doctrine, you can still find a way to be spiritual. But without faith, what is there?

My journey with faith has been shaky at best. A lot of failures, misguided steps and a whole lot of doubts…

I was raised to believe in a Christian God.

I was raised in a household where Jesus’ name was only to be praised, and never to be sworn with.

Sure I believed, I hid my early on-set vulgar language and prayed as though I meant it.

But the prayers I was forced to memorize in my catechism classes never sank in, they never gave me true meaning or solace, the way prayers are supposed to be used for.

After my first communion, the only excited part was the wine I got to drink- if that tells you anything.

It was not until I got into high school, where I attended an all-girls, catholic school where I learned the true meaning of religion, and what it means to be a believer.

You might think that going to one of these religious schools would push catholicism so far down my throat, it would repel me so far away from any religion at all.

This was different though.

I learned that I get to decide what parts I get to carry with me, and what parts I get to leave out.

This is where I learned that religion does not have to be so cookie-cutter.

You can take the parts of religion that you love and leave behind the parts that you don’t.

With catholicism, I was able to decipher what parts of that religion I truly loved and which parts I truly despised.

I refused to let the religion control me, and instead I controlled my religion.

It helped me see the greater purpose in believing in a higher power.

Religion is not for the so called after-life we are promised, a free card to heaven or a way to seem above all of the non-believers in the world.

No, my personalized religion has helped me see that all it is supposed to do is make me better for this life.

It has let me take other parts from different religions and mold them to fit who I intrinsically am.

I take certain aspects of Buddhism, such as karma because I truly believe that how we live in this life directly effects our souls in our next worldly life.

I believe in certain aspects of Taoism, and when we live with humility and a true respect for the Earth and all living things, we become the most natural form of ourselves and we too, become one with the Earth.

I even take into account an atheist’s stance, because without a healthy amount of doubt, we begin to feel superior in our beliefs, when in reality no one can be truly right or wrong. Instead, we are all just living, trying to hold onto something greater than ourselves to make it through each day.

This is my belief template, with other practices and doctrines I have adopted from worldly religions and cultures.

It has given me true perspective.

it has given me an open-mindedness I didn’t think was ever achievable.

Sure, I have heard the argument on the other sides, my devout-Christian peers who I grew up with in catechism classes, saying I am taking the easy way out. That in refusing to believe in just one belief template, I am lessening the value of their own faith.

This I suspect is them feeling less superior and trying to recover their upper hand.

I know that my beliefs are unconventional and that it is basically the opposite of what the teachings say.

I know that, especially in catholicism, you are either in our your out.

But I think that believing in what resonates with me is better than letting worldly possessions and the modern societal misgivings take over my life.

As one of the greatest 21st century writers, David Foster Wallace, once said, “there is no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship–be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles–is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive.”

Any other worldly belief that you “worship” whether it be beauty, power or money, you will never be good enough or have enough. That is the truth.

And the reason I know this is because there was a point when I didn’t believe in a higher power, not even in the goodness of the Universe.

With my faith shattered and my refusal to have an open mind, I had the loneliest and most sufferable time in all of my existence.

In all honestly, I am still recovering from the blows that all but knocked me over.

I am still building my faith, but isn’t that half the battle right there?

I have started going to church again, one where I finally feel at ease.

It is not a catholic church, but rather a church that applies real, worldly struggles and uses our time of congregation to answer those questions as best we can.

It is what fits my mixed bag of principles and values, it is what works for me.

If anything, I hope this helps you reevaluate what you believe.

Maybe it will affirm your values and help you ground your feet.

Or maybe it will help you with what you've been wanting to let go of or what you have been struggling with.

The one thing I urge you to keep in mind, no matter what you believe, is that there is no wrong way to believe in something good.