My journey through Christianity and Hopi Culture has been one that has led me through pig-headed and bigoted people. They do not understand that just because you call them God and they call them Creator they are the same higher power that we all worship throughout whatever belief one may have.
I have been a Christian since I was about nine years old. I got saved, which is an act in which you admit that you have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23), you believe that God died on the cross and rose the third day (1st Thessalonians 4:14) and then confess that you know you have commitments and responsibilities to the Lord, at Oak Hill Baptist Church and then was baptized there also. I went to that church until I was in the 8th grade, and I decided to switch churches to White Oak Baptist. I felt renewed and blessed.
During my time there, there were a lot of things going on that I should have realized were not done in a Godly manner or for God. I do thank them though because during my time there, I realized that I truly was not saved. I got saved, and I asked God into my heart on January 18th, 2012. I got baptized the same night. The question that made me realize I was not saved was: How can I rededicate my life to Christ if I don’t remember getting saved in the first place?
On the opposite end of the spectrum, the question that made me leave that church was: How can these people in good conscious kick these amazing people out of this church? What did they do? The pastor there decided to tell this amazing and loving couple, who were a major part of the backbone of that church, that they could no longer drive the buses to pick kids up, they could no longer teach children’s church, and that if they stayed there they would most likely be a shunned couple in the church. There were three generations of this family at this church, and two of them left to go to another church where they felt loved and accepted. This broke my heart, and I could no longer go to that church knowing what they did to this couple, who took me into their hearts and loved me as if they were my own parents, and I too left. I went to Sloan’s Valley Baptist Church for a little while, but even there the people appeared nice and clean on the outside, but on the inside they were no better than the people who kicked the couple out of my previous church. They were malicious and deceitful. I left that church after a year. Since coming to Berea College, I have not been able to find a church that I like and that I feel comfortable and loved and accepted in.
It has been hard to be rooted in something for so long, and then not have it anymore. But in the same respect, it’s been something that I feel has been liberating. I am not constricted to Sunday morning and evening and Wednesday night worships. I worship every day, all the time, in my own way. I still talk to God and still love him and spread his message with all of my heart. The people who claim they are Christians and then act like they are above everybody else, that they can do no wrong, and that their way is the only way to worship and believe (most usually called Bible-Thumpers)-those are the people who turn me and everyone else off to the idea of Christianity.
Often times, I wonder if this is the correct religion to be following and to be pouring my heart and soul into -- but I have faith that it is, and that faith is what will get me into Heaven. I whole-heartedly believe that no matter what religion or lack of religion you follow, if you believe in it whole-heartedly and have faith that you are worshiping God, then you are. And so am I, and so is a Buddhist or Hindu or any other denomination in Christianity, as every denomination varies in their worship practices. I also often ponder questions that I will ask God when I die, that is if I remember them. But it is also said that once you are saved, the angels rejoice and weep (Luke 15:7-10) and build you a place to live in once your Earthly time is up, so I believe God will know these questions and will answer them for me. The biggest question is this:
How was there nothing that created God? Did they just pop up one day and say hello?
A lot of people ask this question also, but most of the time they do it in a way that has a mocking pretense behind it, whereas I ask it sincerely.
Other questions I have are:
Are we the only intelligent beings that do what we do? Walk? Talk? Look like us, in your image? Not look like us? If so, will we be able to explore that once we’re in Heaven?
Will I be able to learn and retain knowledge about anything I want to know just for the sake of knowing? Can I spend my time in Heaven doing all of the things that I either didn’t have time for, or that I didn’t have the capability to understand?
And I know that our minds cannot comprehend eternity, because eternity is not a straight timeline but rather circular and shapeless path. We cannot wrap our heads and minds around a supreme being that supposedly has no origin, and that is where faith is applied. We have the faith that God knew what he was doing when he created our bodies, our soul, and our minds. I believe if God wanted us to know these things during our time on Earth, than she would have given us that capability now, instead of making us wait to when we could comprehend it. I know that if I were given the answer to the questions above, I most likely could not, and would not, comprehend it here on Earth. Our minds are just not created for that. Though hopefully, I will get the answer once my soul ascends into Heaven.
A lot of people in and out of Christianity wonder what Heaven will be like, if it is real. I have a friend who listened to a pastor preach one day. This pastor believes that once we get to Heaven, there will be a huge warehouse with rows and rows and rows of all of the stuff we wanted, wanted to try, wished we had, anything. And that it would all be ours. Personally, my idea of Heaven is a little different. I had a dream one night where I was walking along these roads made of gold with jewels as far as the eye could see down. It looked like a regular subdivision- the sun shining, big blossomed trees swaying in the gentle wind, and I knew I was dreaming of Heaven. As I rounded the corner and to the right, I saw what was probably my dream house- I can’t describe it, but it is on the tip of my tongue. I walked in and just felt at home and loved, like that was where I belonged. I explored it in my dream, but I can’t recall anything specific that was there.My path is my own-nobody else can follow me on my path. It’s not available to other people. I may let people walk beside me and share my path, but it is still my path as their path is theirs. My experiences and my path crisscross with others, but that still doesn’t mean that they are following me or I am following them. Everyone’s path is different and sometimes it would do a great service to each and every person to reflect on their paths and learn from what is behind them in order to go forward. Some people say to never look back and always look forward. The only trouble with that is if we don’t learn from our mistakes and our past, we will make the same mistakes.
