My Uncharted Second Year

It was an unspoken feeling. It was completely and utterly uncharted. That is the word to describe the way I've felt my entire second year of college.

It's true: I've always been the overachiever. Ever since I could remember, I was always the student who went above and beyond. In middle and high school, I joined just about every activity that one could join. I pushed myself to my limits. I wanted to do a million things at once because I truly enjoyed being busy. I always loved the praise I got for the hard work that I put in and even more the praise that I would get when my hard work started to pay off. When I stepped onto my college campus my first semester, I was overwhelmed with joy. I felt unstoppable. I felt like I had the world at my fingertips.

Then, I had a rude awakening. Now, I'm about to sound odd, considering to most, this would be the experience of a lifetime, but here it goes:

I found an internship half way across the country, and I picked up and moved.

It was one of the best summers of my life.

But then, sophomore year began. It began way too fast. It began so quickly that I felt suffocated. I got back from LA and within days, I was living in a house with 100 girls.

People had always mentioned the "Sophomore Slump," but I never really believed them, not until now at least.

I felt overwhelmed instantly. I felt overwhelmed to the point where I started becoming numb to emotion and joy. I felt like I was just going through the motions. For some odd reason, I still wanted to succeed and overwork myself. I realized that I was still chasing the same high that the notion of "never failing" gave me, even though it made me feel no different. This was because when I didn't experience it, I felt worse. I started losing motivation to do my schoolwork and my favorite activities.

I felt like I wasn't normal, like this feeling that I was experiencing was something that only I got the chance to feel. It really hit me when I talked to my professor about the way that I was feeling. She asked me, "Have you ever experienced any type of failure?"

That's when it hit me. I hadn't. But I sure was afraid of it.

My entire life has been great, but it's consisted of me being too much to handle for myself. I led myself to being a more anxious, worried person over the fear of failing.

And that's when I realized.

I'm in college.

Then, I said "no" to a leadership position, and oddly, felt good about it.

I finally realized that the pressure that I had been putting on myself since I could remember had caused me to be in a total slump. The Sophomore Slump.

And I'll let you do the research yourself, because the second you type those three words in on Google, there are thousands of articles and a coined definition for the term. I mean, researchers have been paid to prove that this is indeed, a thing.

Here's the shortened version and the only one you need:

You are normal.

In fact, most college students experience it.

The fact of the matter is, I still do have the world at my fingertips. I have it now more than I ever did. Being clouded is fine, and being in a slump is also fine. It's perfectly fine not to be fine. For those of you who are overachievers like me, I applaud and also warn you, before it's too late. Take a step back and do something for yourself that makes you feel good without chasing the addicting feeling that success brings you. I promise it'll be worth your while. Stop putting unnecessary pressures on yourself, learn how to say "no" and live in the moment.