I got my first tattoo when I was 16. I had always been fascinated with them, but had never really entertained the idea of getting one. I thought that my parents would say no. Much to my surprise though, they agreed as long as I made sure I got one I really wanted. I was elated. Then, I realized that I would have to show my grandparents eventually (hard to hide my shoulder while wearing tank tops) and I was terrified. They both believe that Christians shouldn't have tattoos or gaudy piercings (my nose ring didn't go over well. I finally got telling them out of the way, and they said it was fine, but I still get the comments about it. My grandmother doesn't hesitate to comment about someone else's tattoos and about how she can't understand why "people choose to do that to themselves." Of course I know that the comments are a sly way of commenting on my own tattoos. She just doesn't understand why they matter so much to me. For me, they aren't just pretty decorations I'll have for the rest of my life, they're a part of my story. When I tell people that they give me a skeptical look.

It's hard for some people to see the meaning behind my three tattoos. My butterfly, to them, is just a pretty design that may be a tad cliché. To me, it's a reminder of the way I transformed from the person I used to be. I'm no longer the middle school girl who was too afraid to stand up for herself when she was bullied. Now, I speak my mind (ask anyone) and don't take people's crap. Most people see my wrist tattoo, which says "Believe" with a cross and assume it's just another religious thing. While that is true, it's so much more. I never stop being a Christian, but some days it's a lot harder to honestly say I believe that the little things in life are a part of God's plan. It's hard to believe He loves me in spite of what I've done. This tattoo serves as a reminder to never doubt anything about God. My final tattoo is one of a horse, and people just assume that it's because I love them. While that also may be true, there's a deeper meaning to them. The horse is a wild and free animal with a grace and majestic quality that I can only hope to someday possess. It reminds me to never forget my free and wild nature, but to also remember to remain graceful in everything I do.

I'm not the type of person to just go out and get a tattoo because I want to. That's not who I am. I'm not a rebel. I'm not a hoodlum. I don't smoke or drink or get in fights. Unfortunately though, that's the stigma that is very often placed on people with tattoos. When they find out I'm a Christian, they just think I'm a bad one who doesn't really believe. I just want to remind people that I'm so much more than my tattoos. Don't make a judgement because I chose to have them permanently placed on my body. Don't tell me "I'll regret them in a couple years" or that I "only did it to be cool.” I made my decision believing that God will love me despite my tattoos-- it's not the outside, but the inside that matters to Him. I don't do things to be cool, I do them because they mean something to me. I won't regret them, because they're daily reminders of who I am and who I want to be. No one should try to take that away from me.