April 29th, 2018 is the worst day of my life. I woke up like every other day in the same town as my brother. Although I woke up that day and he didn't. He choose to take his own life. I did my normal day routine until I got a text message to come home. I knew something bad had happened. I just didn't know how bad until I talked to my mom and asked if you were okay and she continued to tell me to come home. I knew it was my worst nightmare. I fell to the ground and never wanted to get back up.

The longest car ride of my life was actually only twenty minutes long. I being the curious person I am looked at the scanner page and there it was..the word I dreaded, corornor. I knew you were gone.

I get out of the car in front of my mom's house and fell to the ground in front of her knowing that my best friend was no longer alive. My brother had taken his own life.

I still wake up everyday hoping that this is all just a bad dream. That one day I will wake up and you will be here. I will pull into the Culver's parking lot and your car will be there because lets face it you worked all the time.

I have started to come to my new normal. I wake up and wish you were here. I look at my phone and I see your beautiful smiling face. I put on my necklace so that I can be with you and look down at my wrist to see your name. My life is forever changed now.

Yes, when you ask me how many siblings I have I still will say four. He is still my brother. When you ask me how old my siblings are I will say my brother was 21. Don't be afraid to talk about him. I know how great he was and I love being reminded of how great of a brother I HAVE.

I will continue to spread awareness that Mental Illness is real! You were in pain even if we couldn't see it! The stigma that is out there needs to end! I have made a promise to myself and to my brother that I will live my life in memory of him and never stop spreading awareness! I love you Ty!

Please if you are ever feeling like you don't want to be alive anymore reach out! You are loved and people do care!