On April 26, 2006, I asked Jesus into my heart. I opened the door to my heart and let Jesus in. I felt convicted and knew I needed Jesus. I believe, I am saved and I am a Christian; okay I will now do good. That was my testimony of how I became a Christian and basically the extent of my knowledge of what had happened. Looking back now, one of the most disturbing parts about all of that is nobody found it abnormal. That’s because, little did I know that what I had said was apparently known as “Southern Baptist Testimony,” the cliche never wrong answers to the what happened, how did it happen, and what was going to happen questions.
I had been taught this and hadn’t even realized it. Looking back now, I can see that I obviously didn’t know what I had done, what had happened, what I had committed to, or even why I had asked Jesus to come into my heart. I had been a Sunday school teacher’s pet my whole life, and I knew the answer to every Bible story question. I had sat at the front of the class in my new Strasburg dress that I never wore twice and had raised my hand for every Bible story question; not only had I answered but I also had proceeded to tell what was going to happen next. Yet, the only response I made to what I had been taught was the biggest, most important, and serious decision of my life, was six letter statements that started with “I.”
As I though about my testimony, I began to realize how it just didn’t match what I felt it really was and the more I started to grow in Christ I began to realize why. My testimony wasn’t a cliche story that a whole religion could repeat for their own; it was a personal encounter that only I experienced and could only try to explain. I realized it took more than believing. I had believed my whole life that Jesus is God’s Son, that he died on the cross and rose again on the third day, but that didn’t make me a Christian.
I had asked Jesus into my heart many times and had said the Sunday school “ABC” prayer more than anyone would like to count or know, and it didn’t save me. I was taught to feel bad when I did wrong and to ask for forgiveness when I sinned, so I did, and that didn’t save me. I had prayed and confessed my sins, yet that still didn’t save me. After a lot of soul searching, the Lord showed me the difference between April 26, 2006, and every other day before.
The difference was HIM, not me or I, but HIM! On that life-changing day, God convicted me of my sins; I didn’t feel convicted on my own. God drew me to ask Him into my heart; the invitation wasn’t initiated by me. I didn’t just feel bad about my sins, but God made me broken over it. I didn’t just ask for forgiveness of my sins, but God drew me to repent of my sins. God showed me that I needed Him, and I thank Him that He did. April 26, 2006 wasn’t just the date that God drew me to Him. It began my life, not only as a Christian, but as entirely new person, and it wasn’t something that just happened over night. It’s an everyday battle, to pick up my cross and die to myself, and I am so thankful to face it.
