There is a famous quote that says: "The best thing about having a sister was that I always had a friend." I have a younger sister who is 16 and most days, I feel like this is the furthest thing from the truth. My sister and I have very different personalities. I am more of a rule-follower and think about things before I do or say them (at least I try to). My sister just does and says things without even thinking once. When I was younger, I was always so jealous of people who I saw getting along with their sisters, and of course everyone told me, "You know when you leave the house, that will all change." But I have been out the house and out of the state for almost three years, and we are still not close. My sister and I aren't best friends, and I'm OK with that. Here are the reasons why:
My first reason is that there is a generation gap. Anyone who has a sibling who was born between the years 1998 to 2005 knows that there is a major difference between those kids and people like me who were born before 1997. It has to do with the age of social media and smartphone being in every kids hands. My first phone was a flip phone, and the only thing I could do on it was make calls and text. My second phone was a little more high tech, and I could buy ring tones. I got my first phone at 11, and it was because I earned it. Although my sister had to earn her first phone too, and she received a flip phone, but her second phone being an iPhone.
I waited till I was 15 to get an iPhone, and she was 11 — the same age I was when I got my first phone. I had to work my way up to that, and it was the greatest thing ever. By the time I got up to that, my sister just expected it. When it comes to social media, my first and only account I ever had till I was 18 was Facebook. My mom never let me have Myspace (I now thank her for that), but my sister and all of her friends are constantly on Snapchat or Instagram. They have more than 600 followers, and most of them are people that they have never met before and they follow them back. I understand a bunch of followers on Instagram, but Snapchat? I don't get why you would have a bunch of people that you don't know following you on Snapchat if they don't know you how would they understand the stories you post. I don't understand it, and that's OK because I'm not her age, and I was her age at a different time. I feel so old when I say it like that, but it's literally so true!
Another reason why we aren't best friends is cause we feel like we push each other away. By this, I mean that when I try and spend time with her she doesn't want me around, so when she tries to spend time with me I don't want her to be around. I honestly don't know how this all started, but it has been going on for years. For five years of my life, I was an only child and had all my parents attention — in particular my dad's. But when my sister was born, my mom was all about my sister. Of course, that changed when my sister learned to talk, so I resented my sister for getting everyone's attention. But mainly my mom's, because she thought my sister was so perfect. When my sister turned 3 and really started talking and wanting to be around me, I was 8 and really didn't want to play with her because of her tattling phase. Which she out grew when she got into eighth grade.
Whenever my friends were over, that is when she wanted to be around me. My friends thought that she was cute but annoying. Especially when I got into middle school, my friends and I no longer play with barbies we talked about boys and I don't want my sister lurking around the corner. Eventually when she got her own group of friend she understood that she didn't want me around, but unlike my friends my sister's friend wanted me around because I was older and I usually said no. Now my sister has a bunch of friends at my house when I come for the weekend and they want me to hang out with them and of course my sister says no. After they leave she of course wants to spend time with me, and I don't want to because I have tried to have the friendship with her since I was a freshman in college.When my friends come over she for the most part is allowed to hang out with us, but I feel pushed away so I don't try.
The main reason above all else that it I'm fine with my sister and I not being best friends is that I love her. My sister and I fight a lot some times it's verbal,and sometimes on the very rare occasion it get's physical on both side. But at the end of the day I still love her and would hurt someone for her any day. In saying that just because I love her that does not mean that if she is in the wrong or she does something I don't agree with that I will unconditionally stand up for her.
I have had people tell me more times than I can count that "I need to be on my sister's side". First of all she wouldn't defend me if roles were reversed and second of all no I don't as an older sister who loves her it's my job to help her make better choices in the future even if that means not being on her side. Another thing people tell me is when my sister and I are fighting I "shouldn't talk to my sister like that". Well you just addressed how I feel about what you just said she is my sister and that means I'm the one who has to deal with her and she treats me differently, so unless you want me to stick my nose in your business and tell you how to act with your immediate family I wouldn't say anything. At the end of the day I love my sister and that is honestly why she drives me so crazy, so as long as I know I love and will do anything for her I think all the rest will eventually work itself out.
My sister and I are very different people who just happen to be in each other's lives cause God and the universe decided to give us the same parents. We no longer live with each other and everyone I know says it should have brought us closer together and made us best friends, but it hasn't and at the end of the day I'm okay with that. Maybe one day we will become best friends as she gets older and hopefully understand why I was the way I was, but if doesn't I still love her and will protect her.
