Three weeks ago I was a maid of honor for my cousin and now tomorrow, I’ll be attending another wedding: her brother's. So much celebration causes for reflection.A few weeks ago, I did a piece about my perspective on weddings as a maid of honor and this week I’ll be doing a piece about my perspective on marriage. Many may associate the two very closely but it’s important to think about what they both mean, especially the most important one, marriage. The wedding is a beautiful celebration for the beginning of a journey filled with love and hard work. And that’s what any relationship worth while entails, hard work. It’s not just a checklist for your life: marriage, house, kids, kids leave nest, grandkids, and then till death do you part. No, it’s a path filled with many ups and downs. The only difference between a marriage and a relationship is that both adults know that they have committed to going through all of life's obstacles with their person. And I know it all sounds very cliche, because of course this is at least the textbook definition of a marriage. I mean, what would I know? I’m not married. But as all of us, I do have parents. Mind you, they are divorced, but that has taught me my own lessons also.
It’s interesting writing a piece on marriage when that type of love hasn’t really existed in my household after my parents got divorced. That’s not to say that it’s a cold household or that my parents hate each other. On the contrary, I have the best parents, who have the utmost respect for each other. I’ve been blessed with that, but the reality is that a divorce close to your heart will affect your view on love and on marriage, even if only a little.
Like most of us, my view on marriage and the “happily ever after” wasn’t positive. And I say most of us because society has kind of guided us to look on the negative of love. More so, it’s just easier to look towards that direction. I didn’t believe it could work out and that marriage was just a trap. Many people do feel that way, as do I sometimes. But I’ve also gotten the privilege to witness true love happen for my cousin. Let me tell you, it was not what it was like in all those fairy tale stories. I’ve seen the full circle, that includes the good, bad, and the gray. And believe me, a relationship will bring things that will make you question the whole “the world is black and white” theory.
Yet, being able to witness a relationship that showed me what love really is, also allowed me to grow into it’s biggest cheerleader. And that transferred into how I viewed marriage. It’s a bigger and more serious step of course but all in all, it’s a huge circle that feeds off itself. And like in a relationship, if the balance is kept, the marriage is healthy too.
