Throughout the past few years, the Internet has seen the rise of the Reaction Movement, predominantly in video format. Youtubers have capitalized on this trend--most notably, the Fine Bros--but there has been a smaller, niche faction of reaction memes appearing in the medium of text, most of which rely on the unsuspecting friends and family of the content creators. One of the most popular topics throughout this ever-growing fad is that of reacting to Korean pop music (K-Pop), and as a relatively new fan of this scene, I figured it might be somewhat comically profitable to utilize my parents' unfamiliarity to my advantage. The following text can be identified as such: my mother's statements will appear in italics, my father's in bold, and yours truly will remain in the normal format.
Okay, so I was planning on showing you another video, but this one broke a bunch of records, and the album went number one on iTunes, so I'm kind of obligated to show you this.
Are these the boys you and Katherine get excited about?
Yes, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I have some rules. As you watch you have to pick a bias.
A what?
A bias. Like, your favorite member. And most of these videos have super high production values, so you've gotta judge those. Oh, yeah, and the themes.
I wasn't aware that there would be a test.
Right, so this MV broke the record for most views received within twenty-four hours for a K-Pop group. The album also went to number one in multiple countries in regards to online sales, even making it to the top thirty on the Billboard charts.
I bet Nick Rhodes really likes these boys.
I'm sorry, what?
Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran. You know who that is.
Yeah, I'm just trying to understand you're reasoning.
Look at their faces. They kind of have the same vibe. Aren't they wearing makeup?
You're not wrong--
Why do they all have the same hair cut?
They don't?
They definitely do, though. And I'm not sure what makes this any different from, like, a Taylor Swift song.
Explain.
Like, aside from the lyrics, I'm not sure how this is different from any other pop song. Yeah, it's visually attractive, but without the visuals, what makes it distinctively K-Pop, beyond the lyrics?
I like their dancing.
Me too, fam.
And their outfits.
Okay, but that one is a girl.
First, no. Second, who are you accusing of being female in the first place?
That one.
Yeah, that's Jimin. He's most definitely a male.
He looks like a girl.
HOW.
Hold up. They play instruments?
Yes? Why are you surprised?
I don't know. Isn't this whole business, like, super manufactured?
Yeah, but they're still hella talented.
Didn't say they weren't.
Mom, what'd you think?
I think it's complicated.
You and the rest of the fandom. Join the club. Dad?
I'm still skeptical as to what makes it distinct from any other kind of pop music, but I mean, it's not bad. Not my thing, but not bad.
Ok, next is a girl group.
Wait, we're watching girls, too?
Yes. Anyway, this is TWICE.
It's going to be hard to pick a favorite.
You didn't pick a favorite in the last one.
Yeah, well, those were boys.
So?
So, they were boys. Except for that one. Actually, she could be the other girl's sister.
Dad, for the last time, Jimin is a male and identifies as such.
I like their outfits, but I'm confused about the zombies.
This could definitely be a Taylor Swift song. Like, it's just a pop song.
That cheerleader girl is funny. I like her.
I'm having trouble picking a favorite.
I'll pause it at the end, and then you can pick one.
Not possible. They're all cute.
Yeah, they're all really cute.
So, what's the purpose of the zombies, again?
A bus seems like the last place they'd want to be.
So...dance break?
Are they going to dance with the zombies? Oh, I get it. Dance warms the hearts of the zombies.
Yeah... Okay, whatever. Sure.
So, do you have a favorite?
The one with the shortest hair is really cute.
I think they're all cute. (At least she's consistent).
So, this is the last music video: EXO's "Call Me Baby."
Oh, Fast and Furious!
You did not just...
DON'T SIT ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR, YOU ASSHOLE.
Uh.
Seriously. That will dent certain models. Why would you do that?
I...can't handle their clothes.
Explain.
It's just...too much at once.
And BTS weren't?
They were more theatrical, so it worked. Their choreography is better, though.
Yeah?
Yes. I feel like it's more difficult.
This is literally just average pop music. What's so special about it?
Damn, dude.
What?
Did they just multiply?!
There it is.
What?
Someone almost always makes that comment in these videos.
Okay, yeah, the editing towards the end. This is a lot coming at me at the same time. They're very talented, though.
So much English.
How do you feel about that?
I mean, I guess I can see why they'd include it. Just kind of surprised me.
Alright, I've got one more video for you. It's a live performance.
This camera work is awful.
Ok, you're right, but try to focus.
Where's the band?
In the can.
To be fair, they had a live band for their last tour.
Are they live?
Do you hear breathing?
Did I just hear "Bow Wow Wow"?
Yes, you did.
So, this is the sequel to "Who Let the Dogs Out," then?
Uh, no. Nice try.
That's all I can think of now.
Dammit, dad.
They are live, though. They sound good. I still think the other group's choreography was sharper, though.
You think?
Yeah, but BTS were super theatrical, so I think that fits them. They weren't bad at all. They look like they're having fun.
Corporate mandated fun, maybe.
Oh, my God.
What? They're like little puppets for their company, aren't they?
I've heard Big Hit isn't that bad, honestly. They don't have dating bans or anything like some other groups.
Dating bans?!
Yeah, that's a thing. Anyway, you totally never bothered to pick favorites or judge themes, guys.
I mean, they're all handsome, obviously.
You're not wrong.
Wait, that high note was live.
Yeah, Jungkook is the Golden Maknae. And they're almost always live.
They sounded great, but seriously, fire this camera operator.