In the United States, the divorce rate is at 50%.
My parents got divorced when I was eight years old. Of course, I was upset at first, but it's been almost eleven years and I've learned a thing or two about relationships. One being: my parents weren't supposed to be together. And that's okay. My parents weren't a good couple. My mom says that they were too different; my dad says they were too similar. Nevertheless, they can both agree that it wasn't a good match.
As a child of divorced parents, I'm 50% more likely to be divorced than the children of parents who stay together.
Obviously, no one goes into a marriage expecting to get divorced. If anyone did, they would seriously need a psychiatrist because wow that is such a waste of money! But when I say that I don't plan to ever get a divorce, I mean it. I want to beat the odds, although they're stacked against me. I don't ever want to have "Ms." in front of my last name. Of course if there's a huge issue in the relationship, I'm not going to let it slide just so I can say I've only been married once. When I get married, I'll fight as long and hard as I can to save my marriage -- as long as it's still worth it. And of course I'll get divorced if there's no good that can come from continuing a marriage.
I don't mean to say that my parents, or any divorced couples, didn't try hard enough to save their marriage. I just mean to say that divorce really isn't an option in my book. Being a child of divorce, I know the likelihood of having my own failed marriage. But I also know myself. I know that I refuse to go to bed until an argument is over and righted. I know that I am ambitious and determined and stubborn as can be. And I know that I won't settle for anything less than a forever with the person I love, regardless of the issues (well I mean, to an extent).
Seeing my parents' failed marriage, it only made me want to fight harder for a successful one. I've seen a divorce in the making and in action, and it isn't pretty. I don't expect marriage to be easy; seeing my parents' marriage, I expect it to be very difficult.
I've read all the statistics about divorces and what makes divorces more likely to happen. I've read what to and what not to do, and while statistics and probabilities won't be the thing that will keep my future husband and I together, I like to think that knowing them will help. But what really matters? What matters is that I am so passionate about fighting for the marriage I will one day have. What matters is that I am so passionate about finding the person I will marry (shoutout to my boyfriend) and not letting them go so easily. What matters is that I am so passionate about not living up to the expectations and statistics placed upon me because I am the child of divorce.
My parents are divorced, but that doesn't mean that I will be too. I don't want to add to the statistics stacked against me and I definitely don't want to become exactly what is expected of me. I want to be much more. I want to be married. Once.
