As many of you know, I have been writing for Odyssey for over a year now. First, I want to thank you all for following me through this journey and supporting my writing along the way.
In the past year, I've written over 50 articles and shared them on my social media for all to see. I spent the summer as Editor in Chief for my campus community. I've written articles with as few as six views and as many as over 100,000!! I've reached the people I know best in this world, and others I have never met. I've written about my triumphs and trials, my family and friends, my loves (food) and my life.
When I started, I never knew I'd get to the point I'm at today. I couldn't have imagined how much writing for Odyssey would change my life. I didn't expect to change as a person because of my writing endeavors. I simply wanted to write. I never in my wildest dreams pictured my voice being heard by so many people. Most importantly, I couldn't have guessed how much I would grow in the past year thanks to the ability to write.
Odyssey has been true to it's name for me, a journey. There have been days when I couldn't wait to put pen to paper (figuratively) because my brain was bursting with ideas. There have been sleepless nights spent writing articles because my brain wouldn't stop until I put my thoughts down. On the other hand, I've spent countless hours staring at a blank computer screen waiting for an idea to come. I've cried many times while writing down my thoughts (if you know me then that comes as no surprise), in fact I'm crying as I write this one right now.
I love to write. That's why I joined Odyssey. I have only come to love it more as I've spent the last 52+ weeks writing article after article. Writing was one thing that I truly looked forward to doing each week. It took my mind away from everything else that was going on and gave me an outlet I so desperately needed.
Lately however, that has not been the case. The past few weeks, writing has become a chore, another thing on a laundry list of "stuff" I had to get done that felt like it went on for eternity. It became a task rather than something I enjoyed. "I get to write another article this week," turned into "I have to write an article by yesterday, just get something done." I started missing deadlines and submitting my articles late. I thought it was okay, just a passing phase, and then last week happened. If you didn't notice, I didn't write an article last week. Not only did I not write, but at that point I truly didn't care.
If you know me, that's not me. I don't submit anything late, I don't take weeks off, and I sure as heck care if I do. This was truly a low point for me. Yes, school has been stressful. Yes, lacrosse has been insanely busy. Yes, I just started a new job. To me, it wasn't about that. It wasn't even about not having any ideas to write about (again, if you know me well you know that there's too much going on in my brain to not have anything to write about) or genuinely not having the time.
So I had to ask myself what it was really about. Finally, I came to a conclusion. I wasn't letting myself write to write like I started out doing. I wasn't using Odyssey for the purpose it has served to me over the past year. Instead, I was setting out time to write because I felt like I had to. I was no longer opening my computer when an idea came, or writing it down for later if I wasn't in my room. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't observing. I wasn't allowing myself to be open to the idea of writing anymore.
I talked to my mom and my friends and their responses were all the same. If it's gotten to be too much, or if you're no longer enjoying it, quit. I think my mom's exact words were something like "If it's causing you any stress at all, you shouldn't be doing it. That's not what it's for." She was right.
I've been at Odyssey since it started at my school. I'm the only person in our community that's been around from the beginning. I didn't want to quit. I don't quit. I don't give up, especially not on the things I love; but I did. I told my editor that I couldn't do it anymore. I told him it was too much and that after I wrote one more article I'd be done. That was it in my mind. I would write about leaving and move on to a new chapter in my life.
Honestly, as I started writing this article, I still thought that; and then I wrote. The words on this "paper" have never flown so easily from my mind to my fingertips and onto the screen. I wrote this article like I wrote so many in the past: my first article EVER about my hometown best friends (LOVE Y'ALL), the ones about my favorite sport, my most inspirational coach, being a Division III athlete, my obsession with food (ice cream), my experiences abroad, and so many more.
So I sit here at the end of this article at a crossroads, and I truthfully don't know what comes next. I don't know what's next for Odyssey itself. I don't know what's next for my campus community. I don't know what's next for me; but that's okay. What I do know, is that I will publish this article and I will continue to write. It might be for Odyssey, it might not. It will be for me. That's how I started this journey, and that's how I will continue it.
I won't stop writing. Not now, not ever.