When I was a toddler, all I ever talked about was how many kids I wanted. “100!” is what five-year-old me would say. I wanted to fall in love and move into a cute home and have the ideal marriage. As I grew up, I still wanted kids (three instead of 100, but you get the idea) and a great life and a wonderful husband. So when did most of those things change?
Fast forward 13 years:
I went from wanting to get married young to questioning how late is “too late” to get married.
I went from wanting 100 kids to wanting none at all.
I went from wanting to be a stay at home mom to only wanting a career.
I went from wanting to build the house of my dreams straight out of “Southern Comfort” to Googling the best ways to live out of a couple of suitcases.
Don’t get me wrong, I applaud the women who are stay-at-home moms and wives and homemakers. I am so proud to be the daughter of an amazing working mother. All of you, and those who aspire to be that are the epitome of superwomen. I truly think that is the hardest job in the world.
But am I so controversial for saying that life isn’t for me?
“You’re too young to know what you’re talking about.”
I have plenty of friends my age who can’t wait until they have kids, but I’m told that I’m too young to say that I don’t want them. That has never really made sense to me. I have all the right in the world to want something different for myself and to want to be able to invest in my career.
“A woman isn’t supposed to have a career.”
Ha! This one is my favorite for obvious reasons. Please try telling that to Oprah Winfrey, JK Rowling or Sophia Amoruso.
“You’re going to fall in love one day and your opinions will change.”
I disagree. I think that whoever I fall in forever-love with will support me in my aspirations, goals, and decisions. That should be one of the main reasons people fall in love to begin with. Because they have the same beliefs and are on the same page with one another.
“You’ll want to settle down eventually.”
I’ll give it to you, this might be true. But this won’t be true until I’ve visited every destination on my bucket list first. I want to go and see and do and I refuse to be held down in one location forever.
“You don’t eventually want kids? That is so selfish.”
I think that it is more to do something that I know I can’t commit my all to than to admit that it isn’t for me.
“Stop being ridiculous.”
And this is where my point comes in.
It isn’t ridiculous for me to want something other than what society deems as normal. It isn’t ridiculous for me to have drive for a life that inspires me personally.
It isn’t ridiculous to want something and be willing to go get it.
It isn’t ridiculous for me to not want what you want.
I love my goals and I am so excited for the life that I hope to have one day. I love where I stand and what I believe. I'm not asking you to love it for yourself or even learn love the idea of it, but I am asking you to love it as a life for me.
