Hair is a huge part of a woman's identity, whether we want to admit it or not. I've always had a thing about my hair for as long as I can remember. It wasn't always a good "thing" either.
When my mom used to put it in ponytails for me when I was little, they had to be perfect. No bumps, no flyaways. In middle school, I kept a brush in my locker and would religiously brush my perfectly straightened hair during every passing period. It always had to be perfect and looking like every other girl's hair.
My natural hair was something I absolutely hated. It's that hair that is naturally fluffy and wavy no matter what I do. From 8th grade to freshman year of college, I straightened it every day to try and tame it. All of the girls had straight, sleek hair. The Kardashians make a living off of their pin straight hair. All the models and the movie stars and every Instagram influencer had straight hair, so I did too.
I remember the paralyzing fear I felt when my friends pushed me into a swimming pool at an 8th grade graduation party after I had spent forever getting my hair to look perfect. I remember always triple checking to make sure I had a headband in my soccer bag for practice during high school because I couldn't achieve the perfectly sleeked back ponytail without it. Yes, I even worried about my hair during sports, I know.
Surprisingly enough, with college came a lot of confidence for me. After being confined to wearing a Catholic school uniform for four years, I finally felt like I had a say in my style. I tried to look nice every single day, always doing my makeup and straightening my hair. No matter how confident I was, my natural hair could never be beautiful to me.
I don't really know when the change came exactly, but I think it was a mixture of being tired of spending forever straightening my hair every day of my life and the constant business I felt that finally forced me to stop. At first, I would just wear my hair in a ponytail if I didn't have the time or effort to straighten it. Then I started showering in the morning and letting it be. That is the best thing I ever could've done.
My natural hair has slowly but strongly become a huge part of who I am. I love its body and its waves. Most of all, I love that I was finally able to accept a part of myself and learn to love it. Yes, I still straighten my hair sometimes for special occasions, but it's rare. My fluffy, wavy, crazy lion hair (as I call it) is who I am and I wouldn't change that for the world.
