There is one word that has the power to keep me stagnant. One word that can cause me to do nothing. And that word is fear. From the time I was little I’ve always been afraid. I’ve been afraid of thunder and lightning. Afraid of death. Afraid of people who look a little rough. I once read a quote that said, “ What you fear the most, you trust God with the least”. I was shocked, stunned. It was like a gallon of glue was dumped at my feet and had dried up before I could breathe in my next breath. "Do I not trust God with my life?", I thought. How can I say I'm a Christian if I fear when I know God is in control.
When I was thirteen my family and I traveled to South Carolina for our family vacation. Before reaching our final destination we stopped at Table Rock Mountain for a few days. While camping, someone among our group had the bright Idea to hike six plus miles up to the top of the mountain. As we were hiking our large group of eleven or so people split into two groups. Four of the teenaged girls, including myself, decided the other group was going too slow for us. So instead of a slow paced walk, we decided it would be ingenious to practically sprint up the mountain. Believe me, years later I can look back on this and say that we weren’t thinking, praise God I am wiser now. As we were hiking we reached a peak of the mountain. The path opened up into a wide platform of rock that was around the size of a basketball court. It was a gorgeous view. Words can’t begin to describe the view but I’ll try anyway. It was vastly open. The rock slanted downward and then ran upward making you feel like you were truly “Where the sidewalk ends”. The sky was a gorgeous blue, the clouds perfectly breathed into the sky. Magnificently breathtaking, it was. (and not just because we ran up the mountain).
As I was sitting there waiting for the rest of our group I noticed something. A small path continued up the hill. The path was a bit hidden by brush and not as obvious as the one that led up to this point in the mountain. As I sat there, so many hikers stopped, admired the view and left… thinking they made it to the top of the mountain. Too often in life fear disguises the path to our “final destination”; God’s HUGE plan for our lives. So noticing this, we waited and took the tiny path only a few minutes further to an even more incredible view. Breathtaking doesn’t even begin to describe it. I was out of breath and out of guessing, out of questioning myself and God. What a view! What I fear most in life is not finding that hidden path that God is calling me to. I fear that I will lose my sense of wonder and adventure. That I will stop seeking and start stopping. I fear that In my fear, I will lose my ability to love others as Christ did. I fear that I’ll stop seeing myself as Unworthy, and worthy all the same. I pray that I will choose to be alive while I’m alive. That I will constantly seek out my path, and that my mountain- The Mountain will forever rise above my fears.
Psalm 90:2
Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
