My Momma Says
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Politics and Activism

My Momma Says

14 profound tidbits from my mom that everyone should hear.

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My Momma Says
MichelleBelle Photography

Have you had the "OMG! I am my mom" moment? Maybe you said something that she used to say to you all the time or you acted out the same hand flip she does when she's getting a bit sassy. I have encountered this moment many times in the last couple of years while talking to random people in the supermarket and giving counsel to many a heartbroken or frustrated friend. I have learned to embrace these moments, however, because my mom was right.

It all started when I was "introduced to society" in Jane Austen speak. I had been homeschooled through my seventh grade year, and in eighth grade I headed off to a local middle school. My mother always had this fear that I would say something to a teacher or fellow student like, "But my momma always says..." And then something ridiculous like, "Isn't her skirt to short?" or "I thought Thomas Jefferson didn't own slaves" (I was a tad bit sheltered, I know, but I don't ever recall saying anything like this to anyone). Anyway, she told me about this fear when I headed to high school and we laughed about it and then forgot about it. I didn't take the time to truly listen to all of her tidbits, fears, and desires. I wanted to move on with life and do what I wanted. But now that I am a junior in college, I have had some time to look back on the little sayings my mother has given to me over the years. The more I look the more I realize what a profoundly wise person my mother is and I want to be just like her one day.

So I am here to pass this advice onto you. I hope it means as much to you as it does to me and will help you with many a sticky situation to come.

1. All adventures are not the same.

Everyone has their own unique path to walk in life. Everyone comes from a different background, with different worldview, beliefs, fears, loves, passions, and desires. That is what makes us ourselves in our purest, most beautiful human form.

2. Realize that you don't need to fight all the time. Some things are given. Accept them graciously.

This is a trait I am still learning. I have the tendency to ferociously attack any goal or passion in my head without realizing that some things I should accept with a smile and a thank you. Realize that some gifts come without strings attached; so don't be so afraid to accept them.

3. Your actions will always tell others who you are.

Even when you feel shut out, judged, shamed, or in a dark corner of your life realize that you have control of how you react. You might not have control over the situation but you have control of your decisions, emotions, and fears. Don't let these things dominate you. You know who you are. Just trust yourself enough to let it go (see what I did there). And realize that actions speak louder than words.

4. Life is crazy and busy and full.

And that's OK! That's how life in your 20s–30s is supposed to be. Embrace it, have fun, don't be afraid to live a little (or a lot!).

5. You don't need to have everything figured out at the same time.

Accept the fact that having it all together all the time is not going to happen, it will literally ruin your life with stress and worry. Learn to rest in the discomfort of life's changes and decisions, because you never know what you'll find there!

6. People who seem to have it all together generally don't.

Now I realize that this might seem like a stereotype. It is not. If you try too hard to make everything perfect, things in your life will start to fall apart (see number five). It will wear you down and turn you into a person that no one wants to be around. Remember, that not all is as it seems, so don't feel pressured by society, friends, or family to be perfect. Be you and know that the craziness will work out eventually.

7. Don't try and make sense out of craziness.

This is something I tell to lots of friends and myself all of the time. There are so many people, situations, and events that happen for an inexplicable reason. Sometimes we get so buried underneath the craziness of a problem we don't realize that we are chasing madness. There isn't always a clear answer for everything, sometimes there isn't an answer at all. So we must be able to rest in the fact that it's OK. Some things we don't get to know the answer to.

*Also just for clarification, this was a "Grandma Says" point that was passed to my mom and then me. So thank you, Grandma Sinclair, for this tidbit of gold!*

8. Crying is a messy business, but it is necessary.

Learning to express your emotions and pain is an essential part of healing and maturing in all levels of life. I don't believe that anyone can live life without crying at least once. Even though it may suck in the moment, releasing these feelings will make you feel like you lost 50 pounds and will help you to process through the crap in life.

9. Just pray.

This is the best advice my mom has ever given me. Relinquish your control to God. Rest in the fact that he knows what he is doing. When in doubt, joy, pain, struggles, or happiness, pray. Know that he died for you, no strings attached. All he wants is your love, and he always has your back.

10. Make sure to reward yourself.

Don't starve yourself of fun to achieve any sort of goal (weight loss, saving money, etc.). Relax. Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Take a spa day or a nature day or any kind of day, and treat yo'self!

11. Take a step back from your worries and know that it is OK.

It never hurts to back away from a situation to look at it from a different, bigger angle. Sometimes seeing the bigger picture can put your situation into perspective. Make sure to breathe and write down your worries, stressors, and fears. Then they won't seem so big anymore.

12. Beauty is pain.

You can't use the curling iron 100 or more times without burning yourself once (I'm pretty sure that's impossible, so if you've actually achieved this, bravo!). The same logic can be applied to every aspect of life. How do you expect to grow, mature, change, and discover yourself if you're not willing to go through some pain and difficult decisions? Change is not possible without some pain. You just have to choose if you are going learn from the pain or try and bury it forever.

13. You always have a choice.

No matter what anyone tells you, there is always a choice. But it is up to you to see these options and have the strength to choose wisely.

14. How do you expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself?

This truth has hit me in the face time and time again. I have struggled with a positive sense of self since my early years. And again my mother has a point: If you don't even know what makes you special, what makes you who you are, and you don't love that about you; how do you ever expect someone to love you in return? They can't do that work for you—only you can. The process of learning to love oneself is hard, but the results are more beautiful than you can imagine!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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