I love my mom. My mother loves me. But she is not my best friend and I am not her best friend. And I think it’s the greatest thing ever.

I hear a lot of people say, “Oh, my mom is my best friend. I tell her everything...We have such a good relationship...” I understand where they’re coming from, I really do. Yet, I respectfully disagree. I don’t think that your mother should be your best friend, and here’s why.

I don’t need to tell her everything. This one might seem weird, but what I mean is that people in my life play different roles. My mom was the one who raised me. She birthed me, fed me, changed my diaper, and provided for me for 18 years. She played a role in my life that was one of taking care of me and nurturing me. That is her role in my life. If I told her every time I screwed up, she would be worried sick about me. Also, by not telling her everything, this allows me to make my own decisions, think for myself and become independent. I want my mother to be proud of who I am. She’s not my gossip channel; she’s my cheering section.

My mother is too wise to be my best friend. Yes, sometimes I make terrible decisions. So do my friends. We have a mutual, no-judgement relationship where we can struggle with life together. We are living in the same stage of life, we have the same humor, and we give each other almost the same advice. Luckily, my mom does not. She has lived her younger years to their fullest, and now she is content to be raising a family. She’s happy to give me practical and valuable wisdom, reaching for the mistakes that she made and experiences she had in order to do so.

My mother holds me to a higher standard. This one is probably the most important to me. I go to my mother with big life decisions and for when I really need advice. And she tells me what I need to hear versus what I want to hear. Now, sometimes, they coincide, but when it gets down to the root of it, it goes back to what her role is in my life. Her role is to push me to be the best version of myself. She holds me to a higher standard and I never want to let her down. My friends bring a lot of joy in my life, but they can’t motivate me to the level that my mother can.

My mother loves me more than a best friend ever could. I’m sorry, but this one is where everyone loses me. When people say that their mom is like their best friend, I just think, “In what world would you want your mother to love you like your best friends love you?” I mean, my friends love me, but it tends to be a very selfish and circumstantial love, because our lives are so self-focused. But my mom doesn’t care where I’m at in life or how successful I am, or what I do for her. She still loves me. And that kind of motherly love is one that I wouldn’t trade for any best friend relationship.

So here’s to mothers around the world! Thank you for your love, advice, nurturing, and most importantly for playing your role as a mother!