I already told her 3 times in conversation that I had to leave early because of a doctor's appointment. She asks again, and I'm immediately agitated. How does she not listen to me when I talk? I reminded her for a fourth time and waited for her to do it again-because I knew she would.
You see, my mom forgets things. I've noticed that early on, and I often wondered if it was just her personality. I assumed she'd always be the type to ask, be distracted-not pay attention, then ask again. Though it frustrated me to no end having to repeat myself, I started to get use to this consistent pattern.
Then one day, we were in the car. She was in the grocery store to grab a few things she forgot on her list the day before. I dropped my phone in the crack of the seat while reaching over to turn up the radio, so I attempted sliding my hand between the cushion and center console to reach for it. I felt around then slid my finger across a sheet of paper and angrily ripped it up. As I wiped my bloody finger on the back of this paper, I turned it over to see if I had just ruined anything important. Across the page were a list of different things. I started at the top, and read all the way down.
To do list today 4/27/13
-Get buddy up at 7
-Feed the dogs & Cats
-Pack lunches
-Sign physical form papers for sis
-Send monthly report to boss
-Sis has to be dropped off at school early for tutoring
-Clean the floors
-Two loads of laundry (Don't put buddy's uniform in dryer)
-Conference call at 10am-12pm
-Leave work early for Vet appt at 2
-Pick up prescriptions
-Pick Bud up after practice at 5:30
-Dinner (lasagna) at 6
-Plan out day with boss for the next day
-Make lunches for next day
-Meeting early the next morning
-Prep for Boss
-Get kids on the bus early
-Call to confirm kids doctor's appts
-Pay bills
That wasn't even all of it. I sat the paper down and immediately felt overwhelmed. I thought about my day, and stopped when I came to the realization that almost every part of my day that went well, was a result of actions my mom just decided to do. Make it to school early so I could have time to grab breakfast before class started? My mom drove me (every school day). Put my favorite kind of sandwich in my lunch with a note saying-"Have a great day!:)" My mom packed my lunch. Needed my medications in order to calm my anxiety that my mom was always, somehow able to lower. My mom got me that.
I named off things like this for awhile. I got so far into this when I finally let guilt take over. I'd come home and be in a bad mood, all because I had a big test I didn't want to study for. My volleyball coach wouldn't communicate with me, and I was tired from staying up too late the night before. Those were my problems at the time.
I continued reminding myself of past events, when I finally got to the one I so desperately wanted to remember. I was annoyed with my mom for asking me something 4 times. I asked myself why she couldn't remember when it was such an easy detail to get. Spoiler, I didn't just get annoyed at that moment-this continued to happen.
She continued to forget.
Did you ever ask your mom? How the hell she does it? Because I can't think of one thing my mom can't do or won't provide. Even years later, she's still asking me to repeat myself. I think she thinks I'll get annoyed like I use to, but I never did tell her I found that list. I couldn't imagine remembering what time someone has a doctor's appt and has to leave early when I'm also trying to remember 50 other things that need to be done that day-mainly for other people.
Our mom's forget things.
That's okay. Your mom forgetting things during your day isn't for any ill intentions. She's just genuinely busy and is still trying to find a smooth routine on how to accomplish it all and pay attention to detail at the same time. It isn't easy. She'll never tell you that. She'll never even lead on like she has too much on her plate. She wears this wonder-woman costume around and never wants to have to rip it off.
I actually don't know if I'll ever be able to do what she does. I can't imagine being the one who everyone leans on for everything.
The next time that I even think about getting annoyed because she asks a fifth time what time I'm leaving an apt I've had for a few moths-I'll smile and repeat myself.
Yes, I will repeat myself because this woman-this magical, inhuman person, deserves a hand sometimes too. She shouldn't have to do this all alone, and it's our jobs to remind her that she can pass the cape off her back to one of us sometimes as well when it all becomes a little too much.
She may get even worse with time.
She may ask me the same question, three times a day, everyday in the future.
But I can promise you, I will answer them.
I won't get the least bit annoyed because she deserves freaking answers. Whether they're the same as the questions she asked two minutes before, or a question that never left her lips-I will answer them.
She never asks for a hand with her lists, but I live for the day when I can just take that entire list away, and replace it with someone enjoyable.
Mom's forget because they have so much to remember. If we could even try to understand that, I think mom's would slowly get a little bit back of what they truly deserve.
Thanks for forgetting mom, I love you.
