Tinder, JDate, Plenty of Fish, OKCupid, Chemistry.com, Match, Zoosk — just a few of the names of big companies that promise to get you a date/potential partner. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I haven’t tried all of these options, because I have. I haven’t been on a date in over a year and I haven’t actually dated anyone in almost two and a half years. Now, I won’t lie, I’m not the prettiest color in the box, but aside from that, I do have plenty to offer. I have a brain that I use on the daily, I’m pretty freaking smart and I’ve been told that I’m funny in the form of my total sarcasm. But alas, this isn’t a personals ad hoping that someone out there will see this and start sending me emails (but hey, if that happens, that’s OK too).

Dating for Millennials these days is most likely the worst that it’s been. Everything has come down to swiping left and swiping right and just glancing over their profile and making your determination on if you’re hot enough or not. It’s not like how it used to be for our parents or for people our age in, let’s say, the 1990s. It’s not like we can really go out to the nearest bar and start using pickup lines on every stranger that we meet. Everything now is done through the safety of the internet. But the bad part about this, is that you can tell someone that you’re an Abercrombie model but in reality you’re a 200 lb hairy dude, sitting in his boxers in his mother’s basement playing “Dungeons and Dragons.” You can sit there and tell me that you’re 33 and a financial analyst on Wall Street working for a big profile bank, but you’re really 55 and growing plants and tending to your garden outside your kitchen window. I’m the type of person that loves to sit down at Starbucks and enjoy a nice caramel macchiato (four splendas, no whipped please) and talk about everything and nothing. Long walks on the beach on nice summer nights and hanging out on a hammock on summer weekends with BBQs and fire pits, concerts where I can dress up or dress down and completely lose myself with the person that I want to share my time with, is my thing. Someone that will support and love me for my Disney obsession, and my drive to finish school and graduate as a nurse would be ideal. Someone who won’t mind long late nights sitting at the computer finishing an assignment or studying for a test coming up and trying to memorize med math would be lovely. I’m the type of person that craves the human touch, even if it’s just as simple as hand holding. Just having someone be there to support you and cheer you on and to share your days with, is what I’m searching for.

But to be totally and completely honest, I’m really tired of the dating scene these days. I’m tired of being judged for the way I look or the way I don’t look. I’ve been called “unattractive” and have quips made about my weight more than the amount of fingers that I have, I’ve been on dates from hell (literally) more times than I can count and I’ve been “ghosted” by guys more than I care to remember. In fact, the words I’ve used over and over is “I’m done”. While most (if not all) of my friends are engaged or married, I’m sitting over here knitting scarves (not literally but you get the picture). Do I feel left behind? Of course. I also chalk it up to my age as well. I’m 28 and still furthering my education. Do I feel most guys don’t want a 28-year-old student as a girlfriend? Yeah, I do actually, but my education is the most important thing in my life at this point.

I’m also on another dating site (that will remain anonymous) and in the last month, I’ve exchanged numbers with a guy who lives not too far from me. We’ve spoken almost regularly but haven’t met up yet. We lost touch for a few weeks and he ended up texting me the other day, and we got to talking again. He asked me if I’ve been dating anyone, to which I laughed and said no and that I’ve basically given up at this point, to which he replied, “No, I’m sure you haven’t and if so, don’t. All those things you mentioned, there’s no better feeling then having someone in your corner or experience life with. Don’t look at it as a negative” to which I replied that he’s right. I can’t look at it as a negative, but with my track record and considering what I’ve been through, I can’t help but look at it as a negative and every time someone tells me that the right person will eventually come along and it’ll happen when I least expect it, to which I say, screw that. I had what I thought was my Prince Charming and what I thought would have been my happy ending, and that was all ripped out from under me. It’s turned me hard and cold and cynical toward love. Who can blame me at this point?

Somewhere, my Prince Charming is out there, but he’s either riding a turtle or his GPS is broken. It’s OK, I’ll keep waiting.