My Love/Hate Relationship With Tinder (And Other Dating Apps)
Start writing a post
Relationships

My Love/Hate Relationship With Tinder (And Other Dating Apps)

As a single 30 year old with no ring, no boyfriend, and no potential baes in line, I decided to join a number of dating apps. my thinking was "Ok, it's time to find my human...or rather he find me!" Turns out, dating apps are f**king weird, man. And here's why.

59
My Love/Hate Relationship With Tinder (And Other Dating Apps)

I love attention, as do most people, whether they like to openly and loudly admit or not. I don't necessarily enjoy being the center of attention; however, I do enjoy being one person's attention. We are human - we love to be loved, to feel loved, and to give love. It's just how we're wired. We also crave attention; it helps to make us feel human, to feel valued and like we have a purpose in this thing we call life. And so when that attention and love is not present, it starts to hurt, and life just feels that wee bit more crappy.

So, in attempt to find this attention, to help find this longing to love someone and to be loved back, I downloaded Tinder, and Hinge, Bumble - one of the most popular online free dating apps (keyword being free; I am a student...I can just about afford weekly groceries let alone pay monthly for someone to talk to and like me). Now, I know downloading three dating apps may seem abit much, and perhaps it was. But my actions simply shows you how much I wanted to find this kind of single-person, unconditional attention. I was ready to get back out there from my cave and get to know someone in hopes of forming a friendship and then a relationship.

Now don't get it twisted - I am highly aware of the inherent causality of dating apps. For example, I know Tinder is widely known for its ease for strangers to endeavor in sexual relations without the emotions or commitment of a relationship. In other words, Tinder is a "hit it and quit it" kind of thing. And that's cool. Whatever floats your boat. I am not judging; I just want a different kind of boat that doesn't involve someone I've known for maybe a week getting into my pants! Tinder is also renowned for the cheesy, cringe-worthy chat up lines that people use as a kind of 'break the ice' technique. Call me old-fashioned, but a simple "hello, how are you doing?" works just as well, if not better, than "you are sexy" or "Hi, we should link up." I like banter and good chat, not surface-level sentences. Needless to say, I have since deleted Tinder.

I downloaded Tinder more for shits 'n' giggles to get an idea as to whom was around me and if finding future bae was in fact a possibility or if I was exhibiting extremely wishful thinking. I then downloaded Hinge and Bumble under the impression that they are taking a step away from the Tinder-esque convos into the more serious convos about one's interests, life goals, ambitions, family hopes, and occupation. Bumble, for those who don't know, centers around the concept as the woman as the 'Queen Bee' in that if she matches with you, she has to initiate the conversation; the power is effectively in her finger tips if she decides to start talking to you. As a female advocator I f*ck with this concept, hard. However, as an extremely introverted and stubborn person, I am not the one to start the conversation. My brain thinks "ok, you want to talk to me? Well, then talk to me!" Perhaps my stubbornness is partly to blame for why I am on such apps in the first place! But, anyway, Bumble was a no go. I wish I had the confidence to make the first move, but right now, I do not. So, Bumble was also deleted.

Hinge is my current place of swiping yes or no. I get the feeling the men on Hinge genuinely want to dig below the surface and find a life companion, in that way, it's nice. However, and my whole point to this piece, the act of swiping yes or no based largely off a picture of someone is still so weird to me. And then when I match with someone and they ask me the questions that some of my friends, people who have known me longer than an afternoon, don't even ask me is weird. "What are your plans five years from now?" "What are you looking for?" "Why are you on Hinge?" "Tell me five things about yourself that I don't know." It's so weird! So while it warms me knowing there are other 30 year olds out there with no kids, no rings and looking for bae, is it really the best way to meet them?! Hence, why I love it but hate it at the same time.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

How I Celebrate Valentine's Day

Every person, every couple celebrates Valentines in different ways, but there are a few things to keep in mind.

1524
How I Celebrate Valentine's Day
https://stokpic.com/project/love-heart-art-on-urban-street/

Ah, Valentines Day, a day of excitement for some and heart break for many. There are three kinds of people on Valentine's Day: the ones who make it a big deal, a little deal, and those who are single, but Valentine's Day can be fun for anyone if you have the right spirit in mind.

Keep Reading... Show less
Warner Bros. Television

1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Black History Month? Try Black History Year

What does Black History Month mean to you?

1867
madamenoire

African Americans have done so much and will forever be remembered for their accomplishments. In my opinion, there is no such thing as Black History Month. All year, we should celebrate the amazing poetry, music, inventions, and accomplishments that has surfaced over the last 100 years. Let's take a look...

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

A TikTok Ban? Nope, That's Not Happening

We've seen this movie before with the popular social media app.

4777
tiktok

Here we go again. There's a groundswell of support to ban TikTok in the United States.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Check out what's trending on Odyssey!

4870
writing on a page with a hand holding a pen as if the person is beginning to write something
c1.staticflickr.com

Looking for some inspiration to kick off your Monday? Check out these articles by our talented team of response writers! From poetry to tips for manifesting your dream life, there's something for everyone.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments