My Love/Hate Relationship With Food

My Love/Hate Relationship With Food

Struggling to balance my love for food with my love for my body.
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Here’s the thing: I love food. I have a real relationship with food. We understand each other. Food comforts me like no one else can; food fills me up with genuine happiness. I love talking about food, thinking about food, and looking at food online. When I think about my favorite foods I get this warm and fuzzy feeling inside. You could say I am a foodie and that food and eating makes up a big part of my life and who I am.

Here’s the problem: I do not have the type of metabolism or body type to support such a love for food. In fact, my love for food is dangerous to my health. For as long as I can remember I have struggled with my weight and, as you can imagine, my self esteem. I have never been very pleased with what I see when I look in the mirror, I have always wanted to look different—better. Dealing with these issue is never easy and takes a toll on your mental health as well. I have always looked at girls who were smaller than me with envy, why couldn’t I look like that? Of course, these thoughts and feelings are wildly unproductive, but hard to stop once they begin.

Year after year I would say, “This is the year I finally lose the weight and get healthy!” And year after year I stayed the same and failed to change my lifestyle. Finally when I got to college I took control and I made the changes; I stopped eating so much junk, starting eating in moderation, and made sure to exercise on a regular basis. I am proud to say I lost the weight, and in a healthy manner. I never skipped meals or did anything to compromise my health to get the results I so desired.

So here’s the problem now: I am still trying to lose a few more pounds but it’s getting harder and harder to shed more weight. And I know I shouldn’t pay attention to a number on the scale, but I am so determined to reach a certain goal that I just can’t stop here. I workout very often, I am actually in the best shape of my life, so what’s holding me back? My dearest love, food. Food has become something I don’t enjoy anymore. I don’t enjoy that I know this thing I love is what is holding me back and hindering my ability to reach my goals, I also don’t enjoy that I feel this way and that I am always so concerned about how much I’m eating and how many calories I’m putting into my body.

My relationship with food has become a love/hate one. On the one hand all I want to do is stuff my face with ice cream, French fries, and chicken nuggets. While on the other, I know that although those foods taste so good going down, they won’t make you feel very good in the long run. Food brings me great joy, but I know now that the best things in life are taken in moderation. I will probably never stop loving food the way that I do, but I will make sure to put the health of my body first.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Internet outraged at Delhi Aunty for Sl*t Shaming

Public outrage - justified or an overreaction?

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When the topic of sexual violence against women arises, women are often held responsible - because of how they dress, or how they behave, or even if they have a voice. A recent incident in Delhi showed that the mindset of people has not changed. In a video posted by Shivani Gupta, a middle-aged woman is seen defending her claim, "Women wearing short dresses deserve to be raped."

This backward mentality surrounding rape and rape culture is horrifying to see. The middle-aged woman first shamed them for wearing short clothes and when she was confronted, she told them "they deserved to get raped." She made things worse when she told other men in the restaurant to rape such women who wear short clothes.

Shivani and her friends later confronted this woman while taking the video. They wanted a public apology for her statement and followed her around. The older woman stood by her statement. Fair enough. They felt threatened by her statements and wanted an apology for her actions. The older lady, however, was brazen about her ideologies and refused to apologize. In fact, she threatened to call the cops for harassment.

The woman who made the regressive statements. Shivani Gupta

While the anger and outrage by the women who uploaded this video are justified, several questions are being raised on whether the older woman was later harassed for her statements. Public shaming is not the way to solve this issue.

"We cannot dismantle a culture of shaming by participating in it." - Rega Jha.

Now, I believe that nobody must engage in victim shaming. Nobody has the right to police the outfit one wishes to wear. It is astonishing to believe that even in the 21st century, people still believe that an outfit determines the morality and character of a person. That older woman was wrong to sl*t-shame the girls for wearing what they want. That being said, even though what that woman did was horrible, public shaming will not work. It will not change the mindset behind these ideologies. What that older woman did was akin to bullying. Publicly shaming her, stalking her facebook account or posting comments or by coercing her, you are also behaving in the same manner of bullying.

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