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My Life as an English Major

I survive on coffee, classics, and comfy sweaters

Kasey Kirchner

Sep 18, 2016

Butler University

Pexels

I've only been an English major for a little longer than a year, but here are a few reasons why I know, in my heart, that I'm right where I belong.

1. Books are my life. I become personally attached to them, and sometimes I just buy them to hold.

2. I spend a great majority of my life within the walls of various coffee shops.

3. I don't have to study for tests, but I do spend 23 hours of the day reading literature and the other hour analyzing what I just read.

4. When I visit a new city, the first thing I want to see is their independent bookstore. If they don't have one, I will leave that city.

5. If I make a grammar or spelling mistake in a paper, I feel like a complete and utter failure that doesn't deserve anything but darkness.

6. I'm picky about my pens.

7. I must have a notebook with me at all times. Otherwise, I feel naked and scared and alone.

8. No, I don't want to become a teacher.

9. No, I'm also not sure what I want to do with that yet.

10. I get very sad if my books get bent in my backpack, and I try to mend the wound by piling my other books on top of them.

11. I go back and forth between pretending I'm being interviewed about my latest novel and staring at my laptop thinking that I have no talent or skill or prospects or future.

12. When my friends use the wrong form of a word, I briefly consider terminating my friendship with them because I don't know how much more pain I can endure.

13. I feel outrageously inferior to my peers when they bring up a book I've never read.

14. I want to create a device that will transport knowledge so that I can know all that my professors know because they are brilliant and I am not.

15. I do not enjoy math.

16. I like coffee. Too much.

17. I feel a great sense of pride when a professor brings up a book in class and I nod my head because I've read it.

18. I do not rent books. I shall not rent books. Unless it's more than $20. Then I shall rent the book.

19. I chose to take Latin because I want to learn about words.

20. If you ask me to proofread your paper, there is a good chance I'll hand you a completely new paper when I'm finished.

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My Life as an English Major

I survive on coffee, classics, and comfy sweaters

1. Books are my life. I become personally attached to them, and sometimes I just buy them to hold.

2. I spend a great majority of my life within the walls of various coffee shops.

3. I don't have to study for tests, but I do spend 23 hours of the day reading literature and the other hour analyzing what I just read.

4. When I visit a new city, the first thing I want to see is their independent bookstore. If they don't have one, I will leave that city.

5. If I make a grammar or spelling mistake in a paper, I feel like a complete and utter failure that doesn't deserve anything but darkness.

6. I'm picky about my pens.

7. I must have a notebook with me at all times. Otherwise, I feel naked and scared and alone.

8. No, I don't want to become a teacher.

9. No, I'm also not sure what I want to do with that yet.

10. I get very sad if my books get bent in my backpack, and I try to mend the wound by piling my other books on top of them.

11. I go back and forth between pretending I'm being interviewed about my latest novel and staring at my laptop thinking that I have no talent or skill or prospects or future.

12. When my friends use the wrong form of a word, I briefly consider terminating my friendship with them because I don't know how much more pain I can endure.

13. I feel outrageously inferior to my peers when they bring up a book I've never read.

14. I want to create a device that will transport knowledge so that I can know all that my professors know because they are brilliant and I am not.

15. I do not enjoy math.

16. I like coffee. Too much.

17. I feel a great sense of pride when a professor brings up a book in class and I nod my head because I've read it.

18. I do not rent books. I shall not rent books. Unless it's more than $20. Then I shall rent the book.

19. I chose to take Latin because I want to learn about words.

20. If you ask me to proofread your paper, there is a good chance I'll hand you a completely new paper when I'm finished.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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