My 4C Hair is Ugly According to Today's Beauty Standards

My 4C Hair is Ugly According to Today's Beauty Standards

Kinky Haired Girls Need Love Too
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The bias in the natural hair “community” is apparent. When I walk down the aisles of beauty supply stores all I see are pictures of women with big curls, long hair and slick edges. There has been an enormous rise of people going natural and companies are noticing the trend. This massive moment in the hair industry has unmistakably left out the more kinky and coarse textures. There is a diversity in the natural hair community and all textures should be celebrated.

Mainstream media have found a new way to divide black women. Recently, actress Lupita Nyong’o, criticized UK-based Grazia magazine after her hair was digitally altered. She took to Instagram to express her disapproval. She wrote: “As I have made clear so often in the past with every fiber of my being, I embrace my natural heritage and despite having grown up thinking light skin and straight, silky hair were the standards of beauty, I now know that my dark skin and kinky, coily hair are beautiful too. Being featured on the cover of a magazine fulfills me as it is an opportunity to show other dark, kinky-haired people, and particularly our children, that they are beautiful just the way they are. I am disappointed that @graziauk invited me to be on their cover and then edited out and smoothed my hair to fit their notion of what beautiful hair looks like.” A hierarchy of curls types have been created and those with kinky hair are discriminated against. They are told and shown by the media that loosely curled hair is more appealing and marketable.

When I first went natural in my sophomore year of high school, I was encouraged to get a chemical treatment in hopes of loosening my curl pattern. When my family saw my tight curls forming from my scalp, they did not hesitate to make their objection known. One of my family members were bold enough to say: “You should get a perm. Not everyone is meant to have natural hair.” I was offended and extremely confused. So, the hair that I was born with, the hair that God blessed me with, the hair that grows from my scalp is not for me? I couldn’t comprehend everyone’s distaste for my hair

Here is the thing about my 4c hair. It is more coily than curly. It takes manipulation to have super defined curls. My edges don’t slick back. Wash and go’s are really not my thing. My hair is densely packed so detangling is a struggle. There are not enough companies out there that tailor products to kinky textured hair so transitioning was a struggle. Shrinkage is my best friend and worst enemy.

With that being said, I would not relax my hair or apply chemicals to it just to fit in society's standards of beauty. My hair can be a pain at times, but it is a part of me and my culture. As a black female, more specifically a dark skin female, it is essential that I practice self-love. I live in a world where I am underrepresented, belittled and criticized. If I am not going to love the person I am, the hair I have or the color of skin, who is? I love my kinky, coarse, coily hair and you should too!


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The Thing About Serbian Women

Srpkinja Je Mene Majka Rodila
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The thing about Serbian Women is:

  1. Her wardrobe consists of the the color black
  2. She talks super loud but she’s not yelling
  3. She always talks with her hands
  4. She thinks it’s a HUGE turnoff if you can’t kolo
  5. She has a liver of a champ; I promise you she can outdrink you and friends… combined
  6. If you piss her off she is not afraid to leave you and find another man
  7. Her attitude can change within 2.5 seconds
  8. She knows if you cannot drink with her family, you guys cannot be together
  9. “Do not underestimate how many cevaps she can eat.” She can eat like there’s no tomorrow
  10. She cannot sit on the floor because then her ovaries will freeze and she won’t be able to have children
  11. Her name ends in an a
  12. She can’t leave the house with wet hair because promaja
  13. She went to Serbian school
  14. She loves bread
  15. She loves men
  16. The closest thing to medicine you will get from her is rajika on a krpa (then she’ll give you some to drink)
  17. She’s smart
  18. She’s not a cheap date
  19. She’s high maintenance
  20. She can make Srpska AND Turska kafa
  21. She won’t trust right away but once she does she’s all yours
  22. She can roll burke, pita, and kupus like no other
  23. She holds a grudge
  24. She LOVES meat
  25. She danced in a Serbian folklore group
  26. She has a white and brown pair of opanke
  27. While in folklore she lost every bobby pin she ever bought
  28. When she sees something dirty she feels this urge to clean it
  29. When Severina, Lepa Brena, or Sandra Afrika come on she’s going to dance
  30. She doesn’t need to join a sorority because her “sisters” have been with her, her entire life
  31. She went clubbing for the first time when she was 15
  32. She will turn into her mother, if she hasn't already
  33. She went to church camp
  34. It takes her forever to get ready
  35. She went to Sunday school
  36. She knows someone everywhere she goes, whether it’s the mall, grocery store, or the Motherland
  37. She knows being Serbian means the world to her and she won’t change that for anyone



Whenever Srpkinja Je Mene Majka Rodila, comes on every Serbian woman gets goosebumps. That’s a song that speaks to our hearts and makes realize that we were born to be Serbian.

Cover Image Credit: Balkan Baba

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