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My Identity

What happens when you stop doing something that has been a part of you for so long?

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My Identity
Allie Cook

So I know there are a lot of these types of articles on the Odyssey. At first I was really against writing one, but now after thinking about it for two weeks I decided that I want to write about my story.

Three weeks ago now I stopped playing college basketball. Something that I had always dreamed of doing, and did do successfully for two years. But then something happened this year where I just wasn’t feeling the passion anymore. At first I couldn’t understand why. Basketball has always been my passion since the third grade. Why wasn’t I feeling it anymore? But really the biggest and most scary aspect was that basketball was part of who I am, it was part of my identity. What would I do and who would I be without basketball.

After talking to my mom every night for a week and balling my eyes out at least once every conversation, I came to the realization that stopping basketball was the right decision for me to make. Not only for my mental health but also for my happiness. Saying it out loud felt really weird, “I am not playing basketball anymore.” And the first weekend it didn’t really feel real. Even though I told my coach and the team about my difficult decision, it still didn’t feel real.

Then there was the first full where it did feel real. It felt real when I didn’t have to go to pick-up in the afternoon. It felt real when I didn’t need to wake up before the sun for morning workouts. And it felt real when I got dinner with my non-basketball friend instead of the team. However the way I felt about it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Where I thought maybe I would miss a lot of the aspects of playing basketball I really didn’t. And this surprised me! Why wasn’t I missing something that was such a huge part of me as much as I thought I should?

Then I began to realize there are so many other things that make up who I am and my identity, that by stopping basketball I really didn’t lose anything… if anything I actually gained a lot. Now with all my free time I am able to do things that I have always enjoyed but never had time to do.

Who you are is constantly evolving! And even though it is so cliche I do think it is so true that when door closes another door opens. Now that all my time isn’t taken up with basketball I have been able to play more ultimate frisbee, a sport that I have always loved playing but never had time for. I am going to be able to go on hikes during my breaks, another huge passion of mine but never really had time for. And one of the things I am most excited about is being able to hit the slopes again this winter and go skiing, something I haven’t done since high school because I was always concerned with getting injured.

So while it is sad that my basketball career has ended at some point it was going to have to. And now I have been able to move on to the next chapter of my life. A chapter that is filled with hiking, skiing, traveling, and only things that make me happy.

Overall I guess my message would be one single thing does not define who you are or what your identity is. You are made up of so many different interests, accomplishments and passions. Don’t feel the need to do something just because you feel like you have to for other people. In the end you are the person who defines who you are and what makes you happy. Life is too short to not do the things that make you happy … so I would start doing them now. Even if that means taking a huge leap of faith into the unknown and the uncomfortable.
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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