Every time someone lets me down, my standards get higher.

And in all honesty, I used to think that was horrible. I used to feel guilty about expecting too much from people. I used to find myself apologizing to the people who hurt me, instead of vice versa as it should've been, because I felt like I was in the wrong. I felt like I was the one at fault when people fell short of meeting my expectations. For a while, I thought that I was being selfish by holding the bar just barely beyond anyone's reach.

The moment that turned all of those thoughts around for me was during one of the most heated arguments I've ever had with a boy.

I had realized, somewhere along the way, that he was not the person I needed. The dialogue below is the interaction we had the night we broke up.

Him: "Do you want to hangout today, between your classes?"

Me: "I can't, I'm sorry. I have homework I have to finish before my meeting tonight, and then I have to study."

Him: "I'm your boyfriend for a reason. You could at least make time for me."

Me: "I love you, a lot. You're a huge part of my life but you can't be all of it. Not right now. Not when school is and needs to stay my number one priority."

Him: "So you just expect me to be okay with you not making me a priority?"

Me: "I expect you to be understanding of the fact that this is a very important time in my life, and it requires a lot of my time and effort."

Him: "No. Clearly your expectations are too high if you expect me to be okay with you not even setting aside a few hours of your time to hangout with me."

Me: "I don't think you understand. My grades right now are kind of a make-or-break thing."

Him: "No, trust me. I understand. Fuck you. You're a bitch for expecting that shit. Good luck finding someone who will meet your unrealistically high standards."

Two things, now that I've really let you into this story:

One, I would generally censor swear words like the ones he used, but those are quotes directly from his mouth that I absolutely need everyone to recognize. Two, if you aren't disturbed by the things he had the nerve to say to me, you are at high risk for falling victim to actually believing the people who may already have or will at some point say to you.

For quite a long time after he said that to me, after we broke up, and even after confirmation from other people that he was the one who was undeserving of me, the "you're a bitch for expecting that shit," ate away at me.

I began to let myself believe him. I started to think that maybe I did expect too much. I started to think that maybe, instead of him being undeserving of me by not living up to my standards, maybe my standards made me undeserving of ever finding love at all.

But the thing is, when it comes down to it, I really don't expect very much. I expect human decency. I expect compassion, concern, understanding and honesty. I expect support, loyalty, and a desire to constantly improve. I expect effort, encouragement, and open communication.

I don't expect perfection, or anything that I know damn well humans aren't capable of.

So if you are like me, and you are realizing now that your standards are similar to mine, and especially if anyone in this universe has ever made you feel like you're crazy or ridiculous or "bitchy" for it, please listen to me and learn this well.

Having high standards doesn't make you bitchy. It makes you bold.

We are growing up and living in a world where people tend to settle for less than they deserve because they let themselves think or they let other people persuade them that their high expectations are unreachable. We are living in an, "it's okay, I'll just go to plan B," kind of world- a world that is far too full of people who lack the patience to see Plan A all the way through.

If you are a person with the perseverance that it takes to go after what you want whole-heartedly and without the, "there's a chance this could go wildly wrong," thoughts running through your mind eating you alive, that is called being brave.

And that kind of bravery is intimidating.

The people who try to call you out or bring you down are fearful of you and the resilient reacher that you are.

So go ahead. Have those high standards. Don't apologize for them.

That is nothing other than you being brave and being bold- not being bitchy. Own it.