When I would watch shows like 48 Hours or Dateline, I remember sympathizing with the victim's families or saying "how sad," but I was never able to fully grasp the concept of losing someone you love in such an abrupt and horrific way...until it happened to me.
I was so excited when I got my schedule on the first day of my junior year of high school. I had a media technology class with one of my closest friends, Tiffany. I had grown especially close to her towards the end of my sophomore year because we shared a passion for music, specifically Christian music. She would play the guitar, and we would sing together. That day, Tiffany and I talked about our plans together for the school year. I sang in the school talent show both years prior, but this year, Tiffany and I were finally going to take our vocal collaborations from the classroom to the big stage.
A couple days later, I received a strange phone call on my way home from school. Tiffany's mom was in hysterics and informed me Tiffany didn't make it home the night before and I was the last person she texted. I was so confused. I had asked her to go to my church youth group with me the night before. She couldn't because she was going to meet with her ex boyfriend. She thought there was a chance of them talking things out and getting back together. I had just seen her at school the day before. What was her mom talking about? Tiffany was missing. My Tiffany.
Later that evening, I received the worst call of my life. Tiffany had been found. She was dead. Her body was found in a wooded area of a park in my hometown. I had no initial reaction. I didn't scream. I didn't cry. I didn't speak. I dropped my phone in my lap, sat on my bed and blankly stared at the wall. It didn't hit me that she was really gone until school the following morning. Everyone kept asking me if I was okay. I kept getting sympathetic offers from people; "Let me know if there's anything I can do or if there's anything you need." All I wanted to scream was, "I need Tiffany! That's what I need!" My year was over. The plans we made together went from something to look forward to, to nonexistent.
Tiffany was murdered by her ex boyfriend the night she went to meet with him. She was stabbed 48 times. He was charged, tried and found guilty for her murder, and was later sentenced to 90 years in prison. I have never seen someone so cold or callus. I made it a point to look him in the eye when I saw him at the trial. I wanted him to remember my face. I wanted him to see the pain his actions had caused.
I sang in the talent show that year. I may have cried on stage, but I sang every single word of "Only Love Remains" in honor of my beautiful friend. It's been six years, and I still drive 7 hours back to my hometown to visit her on her birthday. Tiffany may be gone, but the seeds she planted in everyone she met are still blossoming.
