I went to the doctor this morning. After several weeks of intense joint pain that has taken over my life, I thought I would gain some understanding at this appointment. I was counting down the days for two weeks, which seemed like an eternity for me, and today was finally the day I would see someone who would take my pain seriously, and try to help me. I unfortunately wasn't given the answer I was looking for. In fact, I didn't get any answers at all, because of the risk of lowering my chances of fertility.

To be honest, children are not on my radar right now (Sorry to my boyfriend's mother). At nineteen, I am a sophomore in college, a double major, super involved with extra curricular activities, and focusing on getting my act together, not concerned about family planning. Today I was asked by an orthopedic specialist if I planned on having children in an appointment for joint pain, with my boyfriend sitting next to me. I was obviously stunned, and wasn't able to answer before she explained I would not be needing X-rays today because she did not want to subject my "pelvic area" to radiation. I left disappointed, without answers, or even the chance to get answers from the X-ray I scheduled two weeks ago, but I couldn't stop thinking about what she said to me.

It struck me as odd when she asked me if I wanted to have kids someday. "What did that have to do with my pain?" I wondered. I must have made a face because my boyfriend told me he knew it struck me the wrong way when we were walking home from the appointment. I told him "I don't like how she put such an emphasis on my fertility."

There are a few things that bother me about this situation. The first was that my orthopedic specialist automatically assumed I wanted biological children, which is not what I want. I want to adopt, and I don't feel thee need to justify why I want to. I wasn't even given the chance to explain that biological children are not necessarily a part of my life plan before she told me I couldn't get an X-ray for the sake of preserving my fertility. My next issue with this situation is that y fertility was prioritized over my current health and comfort. There was a reason I made the appointment to be seen, and that was to make my intense pain go away or at least alleviate some of it, but neither of those were accomplished today because my fertility was too important for my orthopedic specialist to approve an X-ray that would help me.

My largest problem with what I experienced today was the rude awakening I was given to the reality of culture. My health and comfort was put second to my ability to bear children because that is a "womanly" thing to do. As woman with a mother who lost her ability to have children around my age, I am appalled by the high value of fertility in this society. This value makes women who are unable to conceive naturally feel like less of a woman than those who can, and also devalues the idea of adoption. Adoption should be as valuable as conceiving through IVF or naturally, and it isn't because of the way fertility is treated. My fertility is not a reason to prevent me from receiving the help I need to live a comfortable and healthy life prior to my child bearing years, but many people still feel that way. However, I will look for a doctor who understands the value of fertility is not the best asset a woman has, and I will be treated properly.