"We all lose friends. We lose them in death, to distance, and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on."
– Amy Maire Walz
In my 18 years of learning of what life will throw at you, I have experienced grief over very "normal" losses, like losing friends to different schools and the death of pets and grandparents (both very important to me of course). But nothing hit me like losing a dear childhood friend.
Daniel was around ever since I could remember. My sister became friends with him at a very young age. As our parents began to associate as neighbors, then become closer as time went on, put my sister, Anna, and Daniel in a blossoming relationship. We only lived a few houses down from him, went to the same school, swam on the same swim team at the neighborhood pool, and so forth. They became the most inseparable best friends you could ever imagine.
They were together almost every day, and it would be som what weird if they weren't. I still have yet to figure out how to explain Daniel and I's relationship—the best I can put it is that he was like family to me, like a brother. As one could imagine, a younger sister followed closely in her older siblings footsteps, and whether or not she knows it now, I really did. I was not a very impressionable child by any means—I walked to the beat of my own drum—but I truly looked up to my sister and Daniel.
Even though my sister and I were not particularly close and did not usually do things together, Daniel provided a median that helped us connect. I was always with or around them, which helped me form a special relationship with Daniel. He would always include me given the chance, and that never went unnoticed. As silly as it sounds, one of my most fond memories growing up was playing Mario Kart on GameCube with them two. It meant so much to me that they would let me play it with them since they knew they would always have to wait on me to finish way after them, but they never hesitated to let me join in. As silly as it sounds, one time Daniel gave me his passwords to his Club Penguin and Runescape account, for me to check in on them and for me to dabble around on when he couldn't get on and play, as lame as it sounds, I never felt so honored, back then our online games were everything to us, and for him to trust me made me feel so special to him.
(Side note: I still remember both passwords)
After moving into a different neighborhood, the two slowly started to go their separate ways and had different friend groups. Little did they know how much I missed being around their contagious happy energy, outlook on life, and constant craziness.
In October of 2015, Daniel unexpectedly passed away at the age of 19. I was in utter disbelief when I found out. I sat in silence for what seemed like hours, hoping it was a bad dream. To make things worse, I was the one who broke the news to the rest of my family. I did not know what to do, what to say, or how to feel given that I was not active in his life around the time of his passing.
Daniel was everything to my family. My earliest and happiest memories include being with him, and my sister could easily say the same. My dad ran into him a few months before he passed and was so ecstatic that they got to see each other. The death hit home hard for my parents, for they had watched us all grow together at such important ages. Even my extended family knew of how important Daniel was to us. I remember when my grandma Winnie wasn't doing too well, especially with memory, she once asked how our friends were doing. Daniel was one that she asked about, which was big, given that some days she would have trouble with our names.
There are so many things I learned from Daniel, so many things to be thankful for. He truly taught me that family does not always have to be by blood; as cheesy as it sounds, it's incredibly true. From losing Daniel, I have learned that it does not matter how far you grow from someone that has such a special place in your heart, you are still able to love and grieve for them as you would when they were active in your life. I know Daniel lived his life to the fullest extent and that's what matters.
We love and miss you Dan, not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind.
12/19/1995– 10/08/2015
Fly high.
