2015 was honestly one of the most challenging years I have ever had. Many a time I did not rise to the occasion and live up to the expectations I had for myself. I failed quite a bit and in my failure I hurt those around me, and I refuse to do that again. But I can’t and won’t write the year off as a loss. I had some pretty great moments in 2015. I realized one of my biggest goals in life, to graduate high school and go to college. I even went above and beyond and FINALLY got my driver’s license. For some reason, I expected for 2015 to be a banner year all of it’s own accord and when it failed to meet my expectations, I was left floundering. It has taken some time and lots of self reflection, but I have concluded that 2015 was, in fact, an important year in my life. It was the year that I decided to make my life my own.
I have chosen to make 2016 a year that I can look back on and celebrate. I refuse to have another New Year’s Eve like the one I just had. I refuse to look back on the year gone by and think of it as a waste. I take making this decision very seriously. It is not some drunken choice, but a declaration that I will no longer succumb to the fear, anxiety and depression I faced in 2015. 2016 will be the year that I lock into gear and go full steam ahead to make my future what I want. It will be a year that changes the game and that finally allows others to see that I am not timid, I am not weak, and I will not be shaken. I will no longer look back on my decisions and think of myself as a mindless pawn, simply going through the motions. I will make this year one full of moments that can take your breath away. I will make this year one of strength and perseverance. 2015 threw some good punches, and I took them all. Actually, I took more than I should have and I lost what makes me, me. I lost what makes me a game changer. I became a shadow of the person I know I can become and I refuse to allow that to continue. Each day in 2016 is more than just another morning, another day of classes or another wake up call. It is the year that I pick up my pieces and put myself back together, stronger than ever.
I am vowing to make 2016 a year of strength and triumph and by writing this, I ask others to make the same decision. In whatever manner suits you, find a way to make 2016 the year that you want it to be. Make 2016 the year that your decisions are your own and make it a beautiful display of who you are and what you can do.
Instead of hoping that this year is good to me, I am going to make it good to me. It will be exactly what I want it to be and it will be amazing. Even if it isn't always pretty or perfect. It will be wonderful.
