My name is Britney Pillai, I am 100% Indian, born in Jaleswhar, India and raised in the United States. Britney, quite an unusual name for a typical South Asian to have. I am okay with not having a "normal" name for Indian girl. Being raised in America, is totally different then being raised in India. Although we have the same love for our culture, there are many things I disagree with. So here I goes in breaking down the stereotypical Indian culture. Here's some culture shock, as I like to call it.

Arranged marriages, as you know it is a normal thing for my culture. We grow up to know that one day our parents will pick our spouses for us. Along with that there is dowry, a payment made by the bride's family to the grooms family. A marriage that was based on love became a facade and everything we saw in bollywood movies was fake. Now a days thing have changed a bit, love marriages are more acceptable. In my opinion, I believe that we as offspring of our parents,should be able to choose who we want to marry. Marriage is something I personally hold close to my heart. I just want to get married once and stay happy forever. I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with someone I love and care about.

Another thing is that every child will become either a doctor, lawyer or engineer. These careers are the norm in the culture that we live in, they are known as being acceptable. These careers are the only careers that will bring a proud name to the family, and mean success. All this is bull-crap. We have are own dreams and inspirations. Although some may actually want to become doctors, lawyers or engineers, personally I do not. Education in our society is very important, the bigger the title, the more people look up to you. I think that it is just some major pickles, success isn't and shouldn't be determined by the amount of income you make, job title etc. Your life is meant for you, so a word of advice to anyone struggling to find there voice. Voice your opinion, your wants, desires even, for this life was meant for you to live. Your parents are here to guide you and not determine what you will do with your life. Do what your heart wants, do not let any one else influence you.

Last thing I wanted to tell you about is, judgement by other parents. I know many parents who compare kids to other kids but the truth of the matter is, this just isn't right. We are individuals, made for different things in life. Made up of different chromosomes, no one is identical to each other, not even twins. Yes, I know that I am jabbing at my parents, but Indian parents need to know this. Stop COMPARING your kid to other kids, stop PUSHING kids to grow up and think about their futures. From personal experience, I was put into learning centers like KUMON, and C2 Education, made to prepare for the ACT/SAT. I just remember always never being good enough because the person next to me was always going to be better. I remember struggling while other kids got things and achieved greater things, just remember feeling like the dummy in the crowd. So parents, I beg of you do not compare your kids to other kids, it makes them feel less important, less smart. Like if they do not succeed or do good in classes etc, they feel like they can't and won't make you proud. So please accept your kids for who they are, encourage them to explore their talents that they have been given.

SO there you have it, here are some of my issues with Indian Culture but don't get me wrong I love my culture. But with every culture it has it's issues and problems, culture is made up of people, people have problems, we just gotta stand together. Thank you for listening :)