My Confused Double Identity
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Politics and Activism

My Confused Double Identity

How I Managed To Embrace Two Cultures

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My Confused Double Identity
Goole

One might ponder how a Hindu girl can go to a Catholic school. How can a person be influenced by societal norms but retain her ancestral roots? These are a few descriptions of the community I belong to which was built on a synthesis of cultures: the Eastern-Western fusion.

When I was a little girl, I grew up in a house that was heavily influenced by Hindu ideals. Bollywood films, Indian cuisine and annual visits from my grandparents created an atmosphere of Hindu culture within me. Conversely, born in the United States, the geography predisposed me to a nature of American accents, pop music and football fanatics. I was the accumulation of the clashing of Indian and American cultures.

In all honesty, it was hard to be two different people with two different distinct personalities. When you are a mix of cultures, sometimes you feel as if you will never win. I never feel like the perfect all-American girl, and I will never be the perfect, conservative Indian prodigy. I remember when people would ask about my identity, I would hide my Indian-ness with my American friends, refusing to disclose my everyday rituals as a Hindu. The opposite was true for my Indian relatives: I would try to hide my love for American customs and TV shows because obviously, I wasn't supposed to like the "casual nature" of some American ideas. Therefore, I would have never won with my own identity because I would only have half of one. It wasn't until I was older that I created a community of people to help me realize how to be myself.

As I went through my school, I was able to embrace my identity. I discovered similar situations among my peers who went through the same internal clash of cultures, growing up with the ancestral Hindu understandings but being involved in the modern American interests. Studying in a Catholic school, these friends and I were able to appreciate the Christmas and Easter seasons, but we also celebrated the Indian holidays of Diwali and Dasara, each of us enjoying the best of both worlds by combining the two countries’ ideals. My place in this community is to continue to allow future generations of Indian-Americans to discover the balance between the American and Indian ideals because these conflicting but essential parts of my life somehow became melodious when put together.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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