I wanted to write a poem with your name in the backstory,
Sew the words together like a tailored sweater,
So that they could forever keep you warm.
But the problem arouses when I attempt to describe my feelings towards you.
Describing how I feel about you
Is the equivalent of describing a rainbow to a blind person.
You are a breathtaking, hopeful sight to behold,
You're the perfect metaphor for the best in life appearing after the storm,
But without experience, there's no way to make them understand.
How do you explain the sound of a soulful voice to someone that was born deaf?
How do you put into words the feeling you get
When you listen to your favorite melody over and over?
As your heartbeat tries to match the pulse of the drum,
And the notes surge like electric pulses throughout your entire body,
Every hair stands up in perfect captivation.
The song you've heard a million times still makes you cry,
Even while you smile involuntarily at every syllable, harmony, and guitar riff
As if you're hearing them for the first time.
Writing a poem for you is like writing a fragrance ad-
How are you supposed to sell a scent through the media?
Trying to explain how a platonic relationship can cause my heart to experience a flutter sensation
that only occurs when I can feel my self worth rising
Just won't make sense.
Love, any kind of love, doesn't make sense.
My vocabulary isn't expanded widely enough to find all the words I would want to give to you.
You became someone I still look forward to growing up to be a resemblance of.
Your words continue to rewind in my head like a broken VHS tape,
Only they will never be obsolete;
Not to me, at least.
I will treasure the written ones you've reserved for me.
Read them over and over,
Each time, your voice becomes just a bit louder-
Just a bit clearer.
A bit more believable.
Thinking back to our encounters
Will always put a smile on my face,
And sometimes a lump in my throat.
For no one as important to me as you
Has ever made me believe that the feeling is mutual.
I look at you,
And I see all the world's potential.
I see the living embodiment of everything that is good.
When I hear you speak,
I hear the kind of confidence I like to artificially plaster on a daily basis-
Maybe following your example will resurrect my self esteem?
I hear trust, honesty, and raw emotion.
I can see that you've been through hell,
And now you're giving it back-
The world belongs to you.
I am constantly blown away by your alacrity,
Your talent, your passion, your dedication.
I don't know who I would be if not for you.
I know I would not have a sliver of the self confidence I have now.
The first time we exchanged friendly I love you's,
You said it first.
And when you spend your life caring more in your relationships,
It's everything to hear it first.
Then, and only then, can you be certain that it's genuine.
I meant it when I said it back.
Wrapped up in your comforting, brother-like embrace,
It was the verbal exchange that set ablaze our departure-
Sometimes last impressions last longer.
Every time we have a conversation,
I forget about my heartache.
I forget that I have to wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning to face another day of high school,
That my self hatred has the tendency to spill out of me like all the secrets I'm forced to keep to myself.
That I am an outcast in the places where I'm supposed to belong.
I find myself resorting our conversations to nothing but praises in your favor,
Because you deserve every positive word humanity has to offer.
It's the very least I can do.
There gets to be a point where "Thank you" just isn't enough anymore.
I hope this makes up for everything I can't do for you.
I could never find inspiration through my parents,
So I'm incredibly grateful for my honorary older siblings.
Without whom, I would be wandering this earth
Searching for a place, a sense, of belonging that may never have emerged.
But I found it.
And within it, I found you,
O captain! My captain!
You;
A role model, a trustee,
A friend,
A poem-
The greatest inspiration I've ever had the privilege of discovering.
