My Call To Ministry.
Those of you who know me, know that I recently did a big thing. I changed my major from secondary English education to discipleship ministry.
I’m sorry this is going to be long but here’s the whole story.
The idea of being an English teacher began when I was in sixth grade, I knew I wanted to be a teacher and I loved English so to me that just made sense.
From sixth grade until my first year of college I just knew I wanted to be an English teacher, I never questioned it.
When I started college and began my classes something didn’t really feel right but I brushed it off and didn’t think anything of it because I just assumed it was because I was new to the whole college thing.
As the year went on I felt less and less like I belonged in the English department, I liked English but if I’m being honest Sparknotes and Shmoop are how I got through my classes because I just was not passionate about what I was doing. I didn’t really care, I felt out of place.
Over the summer something hit me, I never prayed about my major. I just assumed that English ed was what I was going to do and that’s that. I looked into changing my major but had no idea what my options were, I didn’t know what else I would be good at.
I started this semester as an English ed major and the feeling of being out of place just became overwhelming and I broke down.
One of my best friends looked at me and said something that changed everything for me,
“What are you passionate about?”
My first thought was ministry but I didn’t know what that meant so I just responded with a defeated “I don’t know.”
I began to look through the different ministry majors just for fun and I found discipleship, I had no idea what discipleship ministry was, but the more I learned about it the more I felt a tug in my spirit.
I needed to do this.
Before I did anything I prayed about it for about 3 weeks and fasted on it for 3 days.
I told my mom and she had about six hundred questions that I did not have the answers to. It was 3 days full of difficult conversations because my mom did not want me to do anything without the proper knowledge or a game plan.
She asked me what I was going to do with this degree and I gave her a very honest “I have no idea.”
I still have no idea. I have no idea what I am going to do with this degree but in my prayer and fasting the Lord spoke into my spirit and said to me something that I remind myself of daily,
“Be still and know.”
I was later brought back to a verse in James,
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” – James 4:14-15
The Lord has instructed me to not think about tomorrow, not to worry about what is going to happen after I graduate, and not to plan my future. The future is not in my hands, the Lord asked me for my obedience and He promised to provide the rest.
The God Who called me to it will take care of me through it.
The Lord has asked me to trust Him.
He has asked me to leave my comfort zone.
He has called me out of the boat to walk upon the water.
He has asked me to keep my eyes locked on His.
I know I will not have everyone’s complete support and I understand that, the only thing I ask is that you try to understand me. Understand that I have the opportunity to do what I’m passionate about for the rest of my life, understand that this is what I’ve been called to, and please understand that for the first time since coming to college I am happy with what I am doing.
I know this will not make sense to everyone, but the God that I serve is not the god of making sense, He is the God of miracles. You cannot tell me that the Creator of the universe sending His son to die for our sinful nature makes sense, you cannot tell me the resurrection makes sense because it doesn’t. That is the God I serve. That is the God I am devoting the rest of life to.
He is Yahweh, The Great I Am, and Who He is is faithful, He is good, He is love, and He is all that I ever want to know.
