I am a 23-year-old female and I do not want to have kids. Now that I've been dating the past year, one question I always get is, "Do you want kids?" That question is so crucial because it determines if that person will continue to talk to you or not.
Surprisingly, I've met a lot of people who plan to have children, but there are a few women and men that share the same belief as me, but here's what I say when I'm constantly asked the same questions.
The first question I get quite often is simply, "Why?" I don't ever feel the need to express my thoughts on this topic because I don't have to explain myself to a stranger. What is the use of explaining myself if this person is going to ultimately cut out communication with me either way? If you really want to know why, it is because I have a lot of plans and goals for my life that do not and cannot involve children.
I do not have a reliable partner. I do not want to raise a child in this society, because let's face it, society is kind of scary right now. At least right now, I am not prepared to have a child. I am too selfish, with my money and my desires, and it's not possible to successfully raise a child if you are selfish. The child's needs come first. Overall, it would be wrong for me, personally, to bring a child into my world.
The next two questions I hear a lot are, "Won't you get lonely?" or, "What will you do then?" as if my life is in ruins and meaningless if I do not have children. No, I will not become lonely. I've been alone and I've felt lonely, it's a part of life. It's okay to feel that way. I also have a big family and they have children. I have multiple friends with children. I'm surrounded by people. And what will I do with my life instead? I'll volunteer for organizations. I'll write more. I'll travel, take photographs, and send postcards to my friends' children. I'll open my home for rescue animals. I'll take more classes. One of my favorite quotes in response to this question is, "What I won't do is treat the creation of an actual human life as some kind of pastime."
Lastly, and most importantly, what I hear more often than the questions above is, "You'll change your mind." It's a frustrating assumption, as all assumptions are. I simply shrug it off. I'm personally convinced that I will never have children. The future is surely unpredictable, but I'm not writing a persuasive paper or feel the desperate need to convince you that I'm not a fraud. As a woman, I do not want to have children and that's okay. I was not created to have children and I will not create a human being to add meaning to my life.