I'm 18 Years Old And Still Sleep With My Baby Blanket

I'm 18 Years Old And I Still Sleep With My Baby Blanket

I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

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Before I was born, my great-grandmother made a baby blanket for my older sister, but she never took to it. I, however, did take to it. I named it my 'nummy', and don't ask me why because I'm not entirely sure where it came from.

It became my source of comfort; I couldn't sleep without her, play without her, or stay overnight absolutely anywhere without it snuggled up to my body. I sometimes wonder what I would've found comfort in if my sister would have been attached to the blanket when I first came along.

There came a point, around middle school, that I felt childish for still feeling the need to sleep with my baby blanket. I had long stopped taking it to sleepovers, mainly because it was too worn out and torn up for me to want to risk ruining it more. But, I mostly just felt embarrassed about still finding comfort in something so childish, I didn't know anybody else who did in my new school, so why should I? I find it funny now that I cared so much, about what other people would think, and so instead of simply not telling anybody, I just tried to force myself to stop needing it.

So, I tucked it in a drawer and every time I would try to go to sleep, I would miss the feeling of comfort it brought me. It worked for a while, but still on nights when I couldn't fall asleep because I was stressed out or upset, I would pull it out of a drawer and hold on to it while I cried. And then next morning, I'd wake up with it next to my head feeling safe, but as I started to get ready for the day, back into the drawer it went, and with it all the comfort of forgetting my troubles.

The summer before my sophomore year of high school, there was one night I had to go to the hospital with chest pains. I was terrified. After coming home late that night, or early that morning I suppose, all I wanted was to curl up with my nummy and feel safe again, and that's exactly what I did. I'm not sure if it was the extreme sense of fear or the pain, I was feeling that made me realize I was dumb for ever thinking that I had to sleep without it. I've slept with it almost every night since then, with the exception of sleepovers, because I'm still too afraid that it'll tear more.

Now, I'm a freshman in college and I still sleep with it every night. It isn't something I'm embarrassed by, because who doesn't need a little piece of comfort or their childhood in their life? I also realized, after talking about it with people, or them finding it in my room, that it's so incredibly normal! As much as I think people hate to admit it growing up, there are always going to be parts of us or things from our past that we will still hold on to, no matter how minuscule or large those things are. My nummy is everything my childhood wrapped up into one torn up, worn out, hanging on by a thread, piece of cloth that I don't plan on letting go of anytime soon.

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.

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To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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