The day I met you, oh God, I almost hate the day that I met you. If I would have known that day the emotional roller coaster that you would be sending me on, I would have turned around and walked away.
I gave you everything I had, because when I fall for someone, I fall hard and completely. And you, you watched me as I fell on my face right in front of you, taunting me with what I couldn’t have, and not even bothering to check and see if I was okay. You walked away, and face down on the cold, hard concrete is where I stayed.
You are what I call my almost. You almost loved me. We almost made it. You were almost mine. And the word ‘almost’ stings a little bit more than the memories of you and me. I should’ve known you would bring me heartace.
You are the person I would have said yes to, if only you were interested in asking. You are the person that made it seem like you care, when, in all reality, you probably didn’t. You are the person that I have wanted to tell about all of the good and bad things that happen in my life, but now you’re not there. You vanished just as quickly as you appeared. You were the skinny love that I thought could work.
However, that wasn’t atypical of you, because while you were my almost, I was your sometimes. I was your ‘when I feel like it’. I was your ‘when I’m not busy’. I was your friend, unless you felt like acting like it was something else.
Now that we don’t see each other I think of what we could have been. I think about what we almost were.But you don’t even think of me at all.
But that’s okay, because I deserve better.
I deserve someone who will think that the sun rises just to see me. I deserve someone who isn’t so hot and cold about wanting to be with me. I deserve someone who is willing to commit to me. I deserve someone who doesn’t take grey areas to their advantage. I deserve someone who chooses me every day. I deserve someone who gives me the love that I try so desperately to give to everyone else. That person wasn’t you, and you only have yourself to blame for that.
Maybe one day, you’ll realize that I deserve to be more than just your sometimes. Maybe one day, you’ll realize that I was an incredible person that would have moved mountains for you. Maybe one day you’ll regret the choice that you made.
Just know, before you try to come back, that I deserved better than how you treated me. I deserved to be more than just a sometimes. I deserved to be loved whole-heartedly, and you couldn’t do that when you had the chance.
“And now all your love is wasted, then who the hell was I? Cause now I’m breaking at the britches, and at the end of all your lines”
Goodbye, my almost.
