Once upon a time, there was a young man doing various things during the summer to make money. That young man was me! Last summer I worked at Taco Bell, which was quite an experience. This summer I decided I wanted to work at a golf course. That didn’t work out either, mostly because my parents weren’t members.

I figured this summer I didn’t really want to work for minimum wage and/or get sunburned to a crisp, so I went to a temping agency place where I’d do a bunch of assignments at different places for a good chunk of money. I need to feed my Taco Bell and golf addiction and that takes money. This story is about the most disgusting job I have ever done, and believe me, I’m not exaggerating a single thing. Also all the names are changed. Except for mine. Which is Caleb.

I had met my friend, let’s call him Rick, at a candy place. After that assignment, we got a lot of candy which my household consumed quickly. That was a good story. This is a sad/bad/gross story. Anyway, Rick and I were going to an apartment complex and we were told we were going to help residents with move in. When we got there and nobody seemed to be moving in, I'm like “uh, dude.” The supervisor guy told us to rake the volleyball court so we were like "cool." So we did that.

Then (and this is when it gets bad) we followed Daryl the supervisor to a pile of trash that smelled very, very bad. Imagine if someone threw a dirty diaper onto the curb, threw a bunch of expired cinnamon rolls on it, doused it with vinegar, and left it in the sun for a couple weeks. So we threw that trash in a giant dumpster while trying not to die from the maggots and the smell. Seriously, there were maggots under the bags and boxes of trash.

Then we went to the office to do something else but we waited and some cool frat boys played some pool with us. Then, Daryl the supervisor finally showed up and told us to hang out just for a second more because Rick and I would be working with the fratty boys going to the individual units and spackling and I was super excited.

Hahahaha, no.

What we actually did was go to a trash compactor and clean it of all the extra trash around it. Longest hour of my life. Basically the summary is that I got purple goop on myself and then I threw up. That trash compactor smelled the same as the trash from earlier, but there was more and it had trash juices everywhere. I decided that I wasn’t going to make it out alive.

So Rick and I went to the office to wash ourselves. THERE WAS NO SOAP. Rick said that he was actually moving into an apartment around there so we went to find his apartment, which is very nice. So Daryl asked us if trash is too hard for us in a very condescending way. I immediately said "yes it's freaking disgusting" while Rick mumbled a bit. Daryl the supervisor then said to go home and I started to sing Blessed by Big Sean ft. Drake and Kanye West.

The conclusion of the story is pretty quick. I drove home trying not to smell myself because I smelled awful. When I got home, I burnt my clothes I was wearing and took a shower for about an hour.

I don't really know what the moral to this story is, but I guess if you're having a bad experience at work, just go hide from your problems in your friend's apartment.