Only people who struggle with bad skin themselves truly understand the discomfort and dwindling self confidence that acne brings. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of college when I really had a major struggle with my self-esteem. I think the downfall that these feelings can bring are overlooked much too often - so here goes nothing. This is a quick look into my year-long struggle with severe acne, low self-confidence and the solution I found to my skin problem.
Throughout high school I had decent skin. Don’t get me wrong – I still put full foundation and concealer on every day before going to school, but I didn’t stress too much if I had to go a day without it. It wasn’t until the beginning of my sophomore year in college when things really started to change. My entire face was covered in acne, my skin was always red from being irritated and my face was so sensitive that I would actually want to cry if something bumped my face. I wish I could tell you what caused this. Most people would probably blame my diet, but I had been surviving off of bagels, cereal and coffee since my first day at ASU…not much has changed. I think at this point in my college career, I was going through about one bottle of foundation a month at the least and a bottle of concealer every two months. RIP to my bank account – am I right ladies? My self-confidence had never been so low. I would actually cancel plans last minute because I knew that half way through my busy days, my makeup was probably starting to rub off. I wouldn’t leave the house without full foundation (even if I was just running to the grocery store). Worst of all, I was that obnoxious girl that would stress out about swimming or thrown in the pool at pool parties because I was so paranoid about my makeup coming off. As weird as it is to admit, I was actually embarrassed to be out in public – which is a really strange thing to say. No matter what I did to cover it up, I was only comfortable in the small quarters of my apartment with my roommates. This was the only place I wouldn’t have to stress about what people thought of me when they saw my skin. It bums me out that I spent an entire year feeling this way about myself – what a waste.
As much as I needed the help, I was stubborn about seeing another dermatologist due to the fact that the three dermatologists I had seen prior to this episode had continuously prescribed things that didn’t work for my skin. I was on heavy topicals, different pills and irritating face wash that only caused more damage to my sensitive skin. Eventually I saw another dermatologist who immediately prescribed me Accutane. Half of me was terrified to take this medication due to all of the serious possible effects (long term and short term) but I was desperate. I currently am in my last month of taking this medication (thank God) and have never been this comfortable with my skin. I’ve finally given up foundation and switched to a lightweight tinted moisturizer along with minimal concealer for under my eyes. It’s definitely been a journey, but waking up without a single zit on my face has finally given me the confidence to go back to living my life and stop feeling the need to hide out until my skin recovers.
If you struggle with acne and every other treatment has failed you, I would seriously recommend taking this. It can be scary, but I promise it’s worth it. You might be giving up drinking and wearing anything on your lips aside from heavy duty chapstick (wow so cute) but the six month process can really change things for the better. Take it from me – do not spend almost a year dwelling about yourself when the problem is fixable.
