As times get tough, I find myself turning to music.
When listening to songs, I analyze the chord structure, vocal tonality and how the piece is formed; however, I also read into the lyrics a little too much, understand the emotion of the words and relate the artist’s pain to my own. In a song I listened to called "Mercy" by Shawn Mendes, I started truly hearing the lyrics and the passion behind them. In the bridge of the song, the lyrics read, “Consuming all the air inside my lungs / Ripping all the skin from off my bones / I’m prepared to sacrifice my life / I would gladly do it twice.”
Recently I have been going through a hard time in my life, and it affected me to the point where I wasn’t even able to stay at school. The betrayal of someone who I thought was a friend is one of the worst feelings I have experienced and it hurts even worse when another person I thought was a friend turned on me as well. In the week-long period since I lost one of my best friends, I have had time to think, and I usually spend most of that time listening to music. When I heard "Mercy," I immediately thought of the friend I had just lost and realized there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her; however, I felt as though I couldn’t do anything to change the situation.
After being told to lie by one person and blackmailed by another, I felt completely helpless, and for the first time in a long time, I let these people walk over me as if I were nothing but pavement under their shoes. Finally, I talked to one of my best friends and told her every detail, and I finally felt as though I wasn’t the evil person I had been made to feel like. It has been over a week since this fiasco has started, and I am starting to try and feel okay, which is all anyone could ask for if they have been in a similar situation.
To anyone going through a similar situation, find who you are apart from your mistake. There is nothing that should ever keep you from happiness and acceptance – including your struggles. To the people who hurt me: You will not control my life, because I am the only person who can rule my kingdom, and the war you have tried to start will end with me standing tall when the dust settles.
