"What are you?" I have had so many different answers to this question. I used to get mad when I was first rudely demanded for answers in elementary/middle school--that curious, no-filter phase kids at that age have. I was mad because when I told them half Polish-Jewish, half Iranian, they were dumbfounded, thunderstruck. This lead to me occasionally saying half-Jewish, half-Muslim (I didn't know I was wrongly labeling myself at the time), which would bring up more questions then there were answers. Mainly "How?", or even, unbelievably, "Why?". This infuriated me that people, I say people even though now looking back, these were kids with simple ideas in their heads about their world at the time, had the audacity to question the love my parents had for each other and that I was somehow a product of something implausible.
Needless to say as I got older my answers grew to be facetious, sarcastic, and snarky. People would continue to ask who I was and I began answering with such lines: "Man.", "Human.", "A hopeless romantic.". If these flat deliveries, coupled with blank stares weren't enough of a hint that I had been insulted, and if the inquirer were brave enough to ask how or why that I had come in to existence, I would begin telling them that my parents had met, grown fond of each other, and proceed to tell them about the birds and the bees.
Sadly for comedy's sake, I don't do that anymore. Well, not all the time. Sometimes it has become just some more playful entertainment if I'm bored and the questioner doesn't come off as someone tolerant or open minded. Currently I try and seriously consider someone else's perspective. It is hard for me because, as there is nothing without bias in this world, I was brought up in a diverse household, community, school, city; my very essence can't be dropped and boxed into a single container.
If I've learned one thing in my time of telling people my background, about me, personal details, what pizza toppings I like, it's that instead of getting defensive, I should be as open as I claim to be and take the time to explain how awesome culturally celebrating both of my parents' heritages are in the form of holidays, how important it is to be tolerant of other's cultures, perspectives and lifestyles.
I am so blessed, and people that know me know I never use that word because of the connotation typically associated with it, but it's true. Having more to learn about one's own identity has been such a great experience in my life because I feel as though I can connect with even more people and make friends. It's not as hard as it once was. Maybe I'm surrounding myself with the right people or maybe I've matured to a degree over the years and started to enjoy challenging people's notions of homologous relationships in the hopes of making the world a better place. I hope it is the latter and that it never changes.
