To the guy that thought he ruined me,
I don't hate you. I could never hate you. But I just need you to know that any feelings I had for you have vanished. I let you take up my entire first year of college.. all for nothing. I had finally found the courage to open up to someone and you took advantage of that. You made me drift away from my friends. You made me feel guilty for telling you about my past. You used all my flaws against me. You left me thinking that I was hard to love.. That I didn't deserve a good relationship. This isn't me "bashing" you or "calling you out". I'm more mature than that. I refuse to sink to your level and diss you on social media. Days when I would cry my eyes out thinking about you with someone are long gone. Second semester my freshman year I was depressed. I felt like I had to have you in my life. I would go out with my friends but would spend the entire night wondering where you were or what you were doing. I invested all my time into you. One guy. One guy that thought his juul and car were more important than our relationship. (Sorry that was a little harsh). I used to always think that I needed someone to be happy. You made me realize that's not true. I finally realized that I'm the one who controls my happiness. But I do want to thank you for making me see what I truly deserve. I am done investing my time into someone who doesn't deserve it. I know God has a plan for me and you weren't apart of it. In a way I think he used you to teach me a lesson. He showed me that no matter how hard you try people will never change. That even though I fought so hard some things just aren't worth it. Not saying you're an overall bad guy.. just not the guy for me. And for so long I knew we weren't meant for each other yet I would fight and fight for you but God knew it was enough. That the only way for me to completely let go was you hurting me in a way that I could never forgive. I do admit there were things I did wrong in our relationship. And there were times when you were a good boyfriend.. but overall it was just toxic. I do forgive you for the things you said to me. I'll never forget them though. I do want to say I'm sorry for the times I hurt you. But I will never apologize for opening up and discussing my past. My past has made me strong and appreciate things in my life more. Moral of the story is that you thought you ruined me but you didn't. I am happy! I'm focusing on bettering myself. I finally don't feel the need to have someone. I have learned to love myself and accept my past. I wish you the best in life but I am no longer worried about you. You can continue to insult me on social media if it makes you feel better but I hope you know it's not going to stop me from living my life. I hope you find someone that makes you happy and supports you endlessly. I hope you mature and realize what's actually important in life. All my hard feelings towards you are gone. I am finally moving on. To all the ladies out there: KNOW YOUR WORTH. Don't fight for someone who won't fight for you. Live your life and worry about yourself. Focus on positive things and don't let a boy be the reason for your happiness. You are beautiful and worthy of love. Never forget that.
